And there there'll be four!

It's a bit ridiculous that the last time I posted a proper post to my blog, Yusuf was just 7 months old and unbeknown to me I was about 5 weeks pregnant. Well I can be forgiven for not knowing then, I can even be forgiven for not knowing at my most recent post, a wordless wednesday, that I was roughly 12 weeks pregnant. But to only have a vague suspicion at 16 weeks...sound familiar?!

With Yusuf I only found out at 13 weeks and remember very clearly the shock I had at my first doctor's visit when I saw a fully formed baby on the scan. But at the time Sumayah was 21/2 years old and Bilaal was already pretty independent so the news of a surprise bun in the oven was not too overwhelming. But this time...

The first question that usually comes to mind is 'how could you not know?!' Well I had no nausea or fatigue and having stopped breastfeeding only two months before finding out, I actually did have a period when I changed contraceptives from the mini pill to something stronger. Of course I was already pregnant at the time, but had no reason to even suspect so. At around 16 weeks I certainly started to sport a little boep, but with the festive season upon us I assumed I was just getting fat! Those close enough to not feel embarrased to ask, did question whether there was indeed something baking, but that was always my standard response, 'no I'm just getting fat'.

Even when we eventually took a pregnancy test and that second blue line appeared within seconds, we still could not believe it. We were on holiday in Cape Town at the time and had to wait a whole two weeks before I could see a doctor for confirmation...confirmation?! Really?! Clearly those flutters I was feeling was NOT nerves!

So it was no surprise to me when the doctor announced at my very first visit  that I was already 19 weeks pregnant, almost halfway...and with another boy! Of course the gift of life is a joyous blessing, but I would be lying to myself is I denied the overwhelming feeling of fear, dread and guilt that came with this gift. The reality that Yusuf will only be one year and three months when the baby is born is scary enough as it is, but that we will also be parents of four...! I have come to realise that the gestational period of nine months is not only for the development of life inside you, it also for the mental and emotional preparation of parents. Finding out so late- as humorous as it may be- didn't do us any favours in preparing for the huge adjustments our little family unit will need to make. But as the time draws near, the preparations start to fall into place and our little man kicks up a storm every night, the excitement steadily grows and I am happy to say I can't wait to meet him!

It feels good to be back on the 'blogwagon' again, thanks to a little nudge and inspiration from a good friend who recently started her own blog over at From Nasima, With love, as well as my reverting back to Android. Mom of 3, soon to be 4, over and out...