Mild Panic

Its 3am and I find myself wide awake, a plethora of thoughts running amok inside my head. I am 34 weeks this week, which means that in just 4 weeks I will be considered term and then the waiting game begins. With all 3 previous pregnancies I started to get excited, almost impatient for time to scurry along, hoping my baby would make an early appearance. This time is very different. This time I would be quite happy if number 4 would stay snug and cosy just a little past his due date on 10 June.

Up until now all the things we had decided to put in place in preparation for our growing family had fallen into place as planned.  But now one huge, very tangible arrangement remains...the baby's 'place'. Usually by this time in my pregnancies I would have the baby's cot set up and ready for his arrival, the 'layette' would be all packed in its place ready for use and my hospital bag would be packed and ready for action. Not this time...this time there is no visible evidence of a new baby's imminent arrival. And mild panic has started to set in just tonight.

I remember one of the first questions Bilaal asked me when I told him I was pregnant was ''where's the baby gonna sleep?!'' It was funny at the time, but now the reality of that need is drawing closer and its freaking me out that I am not yet prepared. See we decided to get bunk beds and move Bilaal into the bigger room with Sumayah, with Yusuf then moving into the smaller room with spare bed for those cold winter nights when one parent inevitably will need to settle him in the night. The problem is we are having the beds as well as chest of drawers custom made and were hoping to have them all last week already. Well week one of May has come and gone and still no furniture.

Yesterday I started sorting all the toys and storage space in the shed, but the much needed sorting of the clothes and sleeping space is held up by the arrival of our furniture. So here I am starting to have a mild panic about the preparations that still needs to be carried out and a sense of time running out looming over me!

So baby, as much as I am excited to meet you, please stay comfy for as long as you can so that mummy and daddy can get everything perfect for your arrival.

Already running away with boys!

I do feel quite ashamed I have been so negligent in blogging about little Yusuf, or as hubby likes to refer to him - fat Bilaal. It seems it gets worse with each kid. Bilaal has home movies and albums dedicated to his growth and development. Sumayah may not have any photographs, or a single home movie, but she certainly has been the star of many a blog post. Yusuf? Well all he has to show for his absolute adorable cuteness are blackberry profile picture updates and the occasional facebook upload. And yet here I am again, after neglecting my blog for so long, who, but who is once again the star of the show? Yep, you guessed it...none other than the diva herself - Sumayah! This little fireball gave me a near heart attack yesterday.

You see, we have new neighbours. At long last there are children Bilaal's age living in the complex! So yesterday the 3 boys aged 10, 8, and 6 came over to play. Sumayah was not impressed by the exclusion she experienced. She kept coming downstairs mumbling about how she doesn't want to play with them because they don't want her to play etc. Needless to say Bilaal was thoroughly enjoying himself.So at about 5.30pm I told them to start winding up their game because Bilaal needed to get in the shower and it would be dark soon. I go back downstairs to turn off the oven and get the house keys so that I can start locking up. One by one the boys leave, greeting as they go. I go outside a few minutes later to lock the garden gate and then proceed into the house to lock the door and close all the windows and curtains. By now the sun has set so it is quite dark outside all of a sudden. While closing the last curtain, I call upstairs to Sumayah that I am coming to bath her now. I get no response. I go upstairs calling her and calling her and it starts to dawn on me that she is no upstairs! Bilaal is in the shower already and he has no idea where she is. I start to panic when I don't find her anywhere in the house and realise that she might have followed the boys next door, and here I have already locked up the house with no way for her to get back in. So I scurry for the house keys, with Yusuf dangling over my shoulder as I try to get past what seemed like endless security barriers to look my 2 year old daughter outside in the dark! I go next door (Yusuf) still bobbing his head around over my shoulder and the helper says she didn't see Sumayah come in with the boys. Now my heart is really pumping, where the hell can she be???!!! So I run back to my house to put Yusuf in his cot and run back outside shouting Sumayah's name in a rather panicky fashion. I start walking up to the top of the complex grounds because I remember her asking me earlier to go visit her friend Seth who lives a few houses up, all the while I'm calling and calling. And then who do I see running down the slopey concrete grounds in the dark with 3 boys following suit? Why Sumayah of course! All laughing and carefree running around in the dark with the neighbourhood boys! Needless to say I was furious! My heart was beating faster than a formula one race car and I was on the verge of tears. After venting to my friends on blackberry I started to calm down, but I was still very mad at Sumayah, although I suspect most of what I felt was guilt. After her scolding Sumayah of course cried just a little, but then continued as though nothing major just happened. She was singing and talking to herself in the bath as usual.

I on the other hand was driving myself bonkers with all the what-if scenarios, beating myself up with complete and utter guilt that I didn't have my eyes glued to her every second and how could I have let this happen? By the time hubby came home I was feeling much more calm, but still very guilty. But he cracked me up in the way only he knows how by saying very seriously, "so our 2 year old is already running away with boys?!"

Oh boy oh boy do I NOT look forward to the teenage years!