Friends

With the school holidays Bilaal has been seeing alot of the neighbours' kids. They don't always get to play together in the week because both kids go to aftercare so they come home quite late. The nice thing about living in a complex with security guards is that it is safe for them to move between each others houses or even play in the driveway between our houses. I would never ever otherwise allow Bilaal to go across to the neighbour without me watching his every step until he was inside their house, or play outside in the street even if right infront of the house. How things have changed! I rememeber how my brother at 5 years was able to go quite safely from neighbour to neighbour and we would simply call out for him from the yard when it was bath time, knowing that one of the neigbours would send him home.

The funny thing is Bilaal reminds me so much of my brother at this age. He was that kid. I supposed it's because we lived in the middle of our end of the street so he was friends with the nieghbours all around us and so he was the common denominator between all the other boys. Rameez is also a very friendly, confident person and has always loved being social. So as a result he was always friends with everyone. I remember the one neighbour's kid, Subair, used to knock at our door 8am in the morning on weekends and I would usually be the one to answer the door with sleep in my eyes and in my pjs to a little boy asking "is Rameez here?"... To which I would reply in a most irritated tone, "It's too early, come back later!"

I chuckle when I think about it now. Of course as they got older it wasn't so much the mornings that annoyed my teenage self, it was the constant presence of these irritating little tweenies, because they were ALWAYS at our house. Bilaal is a little like that with these 2 neighbours kids. Only this time I am not annoyed, but happy that he gets to have this experience of friendship outside of school. In the mornings the first one arrives at about 9.30 am and Bilaal is usually still milling around in his pjs unless we have somewhere to go. If we go out in the morning, we only need to pull into the parking space on return and out pops the 2 friends and follow us inside. They don't even give us a chance to put our bags down and they're already there ready to play. Both kids' parents work and are looked after by a domestic worker, so if they are here at lunch time, I normally give them lunch too. My only gripe is that sometimes the playstation tends to dominate play, so I always monitor and limit the time they are allowed to spend in front of the T.V. I find it amazing that they don't play outside in the garden more often. I usually have to encourage them to play with a ball, because they always want to be inside with the cars and toys. Sumayah of course thinks she's one of the boys, always trying to get in on the action when they are playing with the toys.

Bilaal and Oscar who lives opposite us.

Seth lives next door

Sumayah thinks she's one of the boys

Uncle Rameez

Paranoid parent part2

On the road today I saw many children walking  home from school, some of them as young as 6 years old. And it got me wondering again about my ever increasing worry about the safety and security of my children. At first I watched these children walking on busy roadsides by themselves and thinking how can their parents feel secure to let them roam the streets on their own. then I remembered... hang on... when I was in "Sub A" I walked home with a girl in my class and it wasn't a short walk by any means, especially not for little legs. so has the world changed that much or is this just a case of priviledged living. See admittedly, driving in Fordsburg, these children were clearly not from the type of families where mummy or daddy and certainly no nanny is gonna be able to pick them up by car or by foot or by any other means. Growing up we felt secure in the area I lived and went to school, certainly not a poverty-stricken area, but definately not the priviledged lifestyle my children are growing up in. You know the one, where I can afford to stay home with my kids and drive them to school, etc...

Then I was watching Oprah and Madelaine Mcann's parents were on the show, and I was reminded... that's why I am so "paranoid" about my children's safety. The amount of children abducted has increased immenselyover the years and it scares me to death that I should have to experience such an ordeal. My heart really goes out to any parents that have ever lost a child in any way. And you know what, loving my children this much, makes me appreciate my own parents more to the same degree.

Paranoid Mum?

My boy is only 4 years old and in this day and age, can one really be too paranoid. See, we live in a secure complex in North JHB and recently a new neighbour moved in next door with a 6-yr old son and we recently met the boy across the parking who can be about 10 or 11. Well my little 4-yr old started playing with them just outside our gate, but I could hear them all the time and could keep an eye on them, and few times they came to play in my son's room. Well today he the big boy wanted to show Bilaal something at his house so reluctantly I said he could go. Why 'reluctantly' you ask? Well this is where the paranoid part comes in... Even though we are in a secure complex, I just don't feel confident letting my little boy walk around even if he is with a bigger boy. I found myself constantly going to the gate to see if they were still at the house opposite (I can see their silhouettes through the window). Now I ask again... am I just an over-paranoid mom? I did explain to Bilaal that I don't want him going anywhere without me knowing where he is, so if they decide to go to the other neighbour's house he needs to first come tell me.

I mean I remember as I child we lived in one of those small close knit community type neighbourhoods where we all knew each other personally and the kids all played in street in the afternoons. All the neighbours' children were always galavanting about at each other's houses. And my brother was only 4-yrs old at the time yet he was always on the go... in todays day and age I would NEVER allow that. I remember when it got to 5 o'clock my sister or I would simply stand in our yard and shout at the top of our lungs, "Raaammmeeeez!" because we didn't know whose house he was at and that was the easiest way to get him to come home. One of the neighbours would hear and let him know we were calling him.

I also remember climbing on the roof and trying to balance on the front wall of the house, now I scold at Bilaal for jumping off the couch! Are parents today too protective of our children, are we too safety conscious?