A whirlwind birth

My previous doctor, the late dr Emmanualle Bareiro-Duarte used to tease me that the 6th kid would be free. I would just laugh at him especially after Yusuf was born and he kept saying he would see me again soon. Little did I know that I would in fact be contacting his office less than a year later only to discover that he had sadly passed away in his sleep shortly after being diagnosed with cancer. It was just last year that he delivered little Yusuf into this world, almost missing the birth because he was born so quickly. He jokingly told us that next time I would give birth in the parking lot. And guess what...I almost did!

Yaasier and I had a sense that this little man was in a hurry to join our family so we expected he would be born before his due date, but not a whole 2 weeks! My last doctors appointment was on tuesday and I said to her that I didn't think I would last another 2 weeks. But I expected I would at least make it to my next appointment which was scheduled for next tuesday. But just as short and fast as this pregnancy was made known to us, as quickly did little Uthmaan make his appearance...half a pregnancy and half the labour time...

It all started on wednesday night at about midnight when I experienced some really bad lower back pain. But I was still able to sleep and still able to see to Yusuf when he woke for his bottle at 3am. It was only at about 6am that I felt my first contraction. But it was mild enough that I could still tend to Sumayah when she woke up crying and mild enough that I was able to go downstairs to make myself some tea. However the regularity of the contractions made me stop to take note and the intensity started to increase quite quickly. By the time I finished drinking my tea I had timed non stop contractions of 30 seconds duration every 5 minutes. So I went upstairs to tell Yaasier. He was busy getting ready for work so I decided to take a hot shower to see if the contractions would subside. They didn't. They continued to get more intense and started to last longer. So we knew...this was the day. Quickly we had to put arrangements in place for the other kids in the event I was still in labour late afternoon. As it happens both Sumayah and Bilaal were home sick. Fortunately we had Abigail on her way who would be there with the kids when we went to hospital but she could only stay till 4pm. My neighbour kindly made herself available from 4pm onwards despite having 2 young kids of her own. The problem was that the au pair who normally comes from 5pm till 8pm just so happened to have an exam that evening so she wasn't available. But judging by the progression of labour we were expecting baby to be born by 4pm latest...little did we know...baby had other plans!

While waiting for Abigail to arrive I tried to make sure I had everything I needed in my hospital bag, which I was so relieved I packed just the week before. We also phoned all our loved ones from the UK to the Cape to let them know what was happening. But by the time Abigail arrived at 8.30am labour was in full swing. Bilaal was super excited, but Sumayah didn't understand what was happening. I recall bracing myself on the kitchen table in excruciating pain and Sumayah nonchalantly asking me 'mommy, are you going to make me something to drink?' Bilaal got so annoyed with her and reprimanded her 'how can mommy make you something to drink, she's gna have a baby, can't you see she's in pain?!' And then he proceeded to ask me where does the baby come out! While Yaasier was getting my bags upstairs I suddenly started feeling the urge to push so I decided to get in the car so long and recall shouting from the garage 'Yaasier! We need to leave now!' Poor Yaasier was moving as fast as he could all the while I'm telling him 'we need to get to the hospital NOW! But don't drive so fast...slow down...just get to the hospital quick! Aaaah!' Fortunately the hospital is just 5 minutes from our house and as we approached the entrance I said 'I'm not going to be able to walk in!' So Yaasier just left his car in the drop off zone at the hospital entrance to help me in and I just plonked myself into the first wheelchair I saw and shouted at the security guard 'go quickly!' We arrived in the maternity ward at about 9am and as we approached the nurses station I shouted 'I can feel I need to push! Dr Loock!'

There was a huge rush and scramble with a flurry of activity all around me it was all hands on deck! I recall hearing someone say 'lets just first get her bottoms off or this baby's gna be born in her pants...' I had one person pulling off my boot, one pulling off my bottoms, another person trying to put on my hospital gown and a whole bunch of scrambling around to  get me on the bed and prepped for birth. Then I hear the nursing sister say  'ok just move her into delivery now I can see the head!' No kidding! The sensation to push was getting stronger! As they rush me into the delivery room knocking into walls and doorways on the way I remember hearing one of the nurse's phones ringing to the song 'ice ice baby...so now stop, collaborate and listen...' while the nurses are telling me not to push yet and me shouting in pain. And then suddenly...no pain...the calm before the storm...I could see the waters bulging and the next second I felt a really strong contraction coming on. My waters burst and within seconds, at 9.13am baby popped out onto the bed crying his healthy little lungs out just as my doctor ran into the room.

And that is how Uthmaan Abrahams made himself known to the world...tiny, vernix covered perfection. I looked up at dad and knew that we were both instantly in love with our new little man. One of my favourite moments after every birth is watching Yaasier brim with pride and instant love for both baby and me. He's always so filled with admiration for me yet I know that I would not have the strength I have without him by my side. And we will need each other now more than ever now that we are officially parents of 4!

Welcome to the world baby Uthmaan

Baby Uthmaan Abrahams...born 9.13 am on this day 23 May 2013. A whirlwind, movie style delivery...details in my next post!

Ready or not...

It is 23h04 and the sounds of giggling and pitter patter footsteps and rattling beds have finally stopped in the room of the 2 monkeys. I'm lying in the quiet darkness with Yusuf sprawled across my chest, just above my ever lowering bump, wondering how the fudge we are going to be ready for the one thats busy dancing in my belly?!

I saw the doctor twice this week. I won't go into the details, but I needed to see the doc before my scheduled appointment and was placed on something called an NST or non-stress test machine which monitors baby's heartbeat as well as possible contractions. The doc was  initially concerned that there appeared to be a skip in baby's heartbeat but this seemed to resolve after a while. Although doc was happy with everything else, as a precaution she instructed me to come again for the NST the following morning and be prepared for the possibility that she might admit me for further monitoring. Thankfully it didn't come to that, but it certainly had me lamenting the stark reality that there is a baby on it's way...soon! Aside from the fact that finding out so late made this a very short pregnancy, I also never entertained the possibility that I could labor early. Partly because... well thats not how we roll and probably more so because I don't want that to be the case. I just don't feel ready...

Bilaal and Sumayah were both born a day or 2 past due date, while Yusuf was 3 days early. But all 3 pregnancies brought great anticipation and eagerness for birth to happen from the magical 37 week milestone already, fondly known as being 'term'. But this time is so completely different. This time, even though I am excited to meet our little man I feel as though I am not yet ready for him. And yet this time round I feel my body preparing much sooner for the big event. The  reality is, whether we are ready or not, this baby will be born exactly when he is supposed to be born and that unknown, that uncertainty scares me. And it is for that reason that I find myself blogging at this crazy hour instead of trying to get some sleep between Yusuf's bouts of restlessness.

And Yusuf was born!

Its been three weeks since my last post and as promised this one will be dedicated to the birth story óf little Yusuf Abrahams. As I write this post I am lying with him snugly curled up aginst my chest sleeping like a little angel. I can't believe he is 3 weeks already and that I am actually a mother of 3! The funny thing about pregnancy and birth is that no matter how gatvol (to my foreign readers that means fed up) you are of being pregnant, no matter how ready you are to pop, when the day arrives and your impending delivery is in sight, you feel so unprepared and nervous and excited and a whole bunch of other feelings all rolled into one huge heap of emotion. When I think back and reflect on any of my births I remember the finer details of the day very clearly, but the memory of the experience is still so surreal. Its like I was present in the moment, but not fully aware of the whirlwind that I was part of.

Interestingly my birth experience with Yusuf was very similar to Bilaals, because the progression of my labour was almost identicle! It started out a normal day getting up at 6 to wake Bilaal for school and prepare his breakfast and lunch. Just before Yaasier and Bilaal left at about 7 I started feeling discomfort that cameand went very quickly. With weeks od prelabour niggles I didn't immediately have the light come on that this was a contraction, but then it happened again, and again, and again. It wasn't painful just uncomfortable, but increasingly so, so at this point I remembered that the same thing happened when I went into labour with Bilaal. I also woke at 7am with similar discomfort. Yaasier and Bilaal had left already and Sumayah was still asleep so I decided to lie on the bed and time what I now suspected were mild contractions. in the mean time I was furiously googling signs and symptoms of labour (one would think I would know all this 3rd time round!) and was messaging my good friend about what was happening. Yaasier was an hour away on a conference and I wasn't sure if I should call him all the way back in the even it was a falso alarm. I struggled to time them at first because I kept being interrupted or forgetting to press the stopwatch and start it again etc. Then Sumayah also woke up and I had to get her ready for school. By this time I think I pretty much knew instinctively that this was the real deal, but I remembered how Sumayah sent us back and forth to the hsopital 3 time before the show began so I wanted to be absolutely certain. So with contractions still going at very regular intervals and starting to get more and more uncomfortable heading toward the pain end of the spectrum, I got Sumayah ready for school and dropped her off. Fortunately her school is literally down the road so I only had 2 maybe 3 contractions there and back. But that's how mild they were, I could still comfortably drive, talk to the teacher, and hug and kiss my girl. But as soon as I got home I lay on the bed and focussed solely on timing these darn buggers that were now steadily increasing in intensity. I called Yaasier and let him know what was happening, at this point it was clear that these were contractions and they were not tapering off. They were about 10 minutes apart and each one lasted about a minute. I phoned the doctor who said I should come into the maternity ward to be monitored. So Yaasier made his way back home. I was convinced I would be monitored at hospital and then they would send me home to come back later in the day. But alas that was not to be. When Yaasier arrived he first had to collect Sumayah from school before we could go to hospital, which fortunately is also only 5 minutes away. While there the nurse informed us that I was already 4 cm dilated! Yaasier then had to rush off to fetch Bilaal at school and drop him at home. It seemed like ages that he was gone. I don't think he realised how much of a rock of support he is to me during times like these. By this time the pain from each contraction was really intense, so I distracted myself with facebook and Blackberry messages. So amny of my family and friends knoew I was in labour as it was happening! While waiting for Yaasier the nurse informed me that as soon as he arrived they would break my waters to speed things up because my labour was progressing quite quickly as it was so she was sure our littel angel would make an appearance soon. Yaasier was quite taken aback to hear this when he arrived. The nurses were busy with another birth and while we waited Yaasier distracted me with his funny remarkss while I rocked on a gym ball through each pain.

Finally the final hours hour arrived. I was wheeled into the delivery room and was found to be 8cm dilated already. The breaks between contractions were starting to dwindle till eventually it felt like just one continous contraction. Then the nurse announced that it was almost time to push and that she would break my waters. It is the strangest feeling, that urge to push. It's like you have no control over the feeling and yet you are also in total control of whether you push or not. The doctor hadn't arrived yet and the nurses said that if I felt I neede to push that I should just go ahead. Just after the doctor arrived, 3 pushes, a lot of screaming and some bone crunching of Yaasier's hand later, and our beautiful 3.16kg baby boy was born at 15h40 on Wednesday 7 March.

And now here I am a proud mother of 3, enjoying my babymoon with Yusuf.

Welcome to the World!

How remarkable that in my last post on Tuesday I described my contentment at trusting that our new little bundle of joy would arrive in good time...and then the very next day...

Welcome to the world, our son, baby Yusuf Abrahams, born Wednesday 7 March 2012 at 3.40pm.

I will be posting the birth story real soon, but for now I am going to be getting some rest and bonding time, enjoying the calm of the newborn period before the storm of everyday life with 3! kids begins.

It has been written...

As you may know, I have been impatiently awaiting the arrival of the new Abrahams baby. Partly due to excitement, partly due to the sheer discomfort of waddling around like a whale in the kalahari in this Jozi heat... not to mention the prelabour aches and pains I've been having on and off for 2 weeks already. But yesterday something changed... perhaps it was the calm that entering the final week till due date brings or perhaps it really is the clarity of thought I have been needing all along. While lying awake in the darkness with my good friend preggy insomnia to keep me company the words "It has been written" sprung to mind. I have been driving myself potty googling the signs of labor hoping to catch a glimpse into my future and predict when baby will arrive, reading up all kinds of words of wisdom on how to get things started. But I realised... or rather I always knew, but finally accepted yesterday that no matter what we do, there are certain things that have already been written... the date you will be born being one of them. Some might argue 'but what about those who have elective c-sections?' Well think about it even then, there will always be circumstances around that decision that will limit your choice of date. So if I had to march into my doctors office this morning and demand that I would like this baby out right away and would like a c-section, it's not like he will just drop everything and voila the birthdate is decided upon. I would still need to be assessed and the doctor's schedule, hospital bookings anaethetist and many other factors, will have to come together to come to a date... a date that has already been written. So while lots of walking and some other kinky suggestions usually recommended to naturally induce labor may well bring me closer to the ultimate event... in the end baby will still only be born when he is meant to be born... on the date it has been written.

So in the mean time I shall kick back and relax while I now patiently await the big event. The not knowing when or how is after all what makes it all so exciting! At least that's what I tell myself while I shift my position to find a more comfortable once again, to no avail.

My sister's an alien!

Bilaal is convinced that his sister is an alien! Before we found out we were pregnant with her, Bilaal had been earnestly asking for a baby sister every night in his prayers. But one night he said to his dad, 'when I asked Allah for a sister I didn't think she was gna be like THIS!'. He has since concocted this very creative conspiracy theory that Sumayah is in fact not the real baby. Down the road from where we live is the hospital where she was born. And on the opposite side of the road is one of those old, huge concrete water tanks with the dome roof. According to Bilaal this is in fact a space ship that crashed on that piece of land and is now stuck in the ground. Apparently an alien from the spaceship then took the place of our real baby (I don't know what supposedly happened to our real baby). This, in Bilaal's mind is the only explaination for her being the way she is!

So the other day Bilaal comes to me and asks me if I would mind a boy baby. 'Uh, huh? What do you mean?' was my initial response. So he says to me, 'I mean do you mind having a boy baby, can I ask Allah for a baby boy, 'cos Sumayah is just too strange...'. I was very amused and simply replied, 'my boy what you ask Allah is between you and Allah. It is up to Allah to decide to grant you your duahs (prayers)'.

About three days later and I find him sulking and sighing. When I asked him what the problem was he asks me, 'why's it taking so long? I've been asking Allah every night and every day and still nothing!'. Now how does one respond to that? So I say to him, 'well what do you expect... A baby to suddenly appear at our door in a basket?'. To which he replies, 'well maybe if one night you feel like a cramp in your stomach then it means there's a baby 'cos I think it will be painful when you get the baby'.

No comment.

Bye bye baby, Hello toddler!

I can't believe it's been a year already! It feels like yesterday that we were rather impatiently waiting for the arrival of our little Princess Fiona. I call her that because she aint your regular classic fairytale princess type... no she's more your modern day kick-ass I-know-what-I-want princess type. Yep that's our Sumayah. She has this bib that is so perfect for her, it reads, "what part of princess don't you understand!" So it's the night before her birthday and i find myself reminiscing about this momentous night one year ago.

My gynae was so convinced that I would go into labour at 38 weeks, but that just made the wait much longer because we were anticipating her birth any moment for 2 weeks. My actual due date was Monday 29 June 2009. My mom arrived Friday, 26 June and Yaasier's parents and sister surprised us with a drive up from Cape Town on the Saturday, while my husband's grandmother had been staying with us for 2 weeks already. So we were a pretty full house, all... waiting! So due date came and I visited the gynae one last time. I was so convinced he was gonna tell me that I was dilated and that labour was imminent because I had been having 2 weeks of pre-labour  back pain. But alas! that was not to be. Funny how my first thought was, 'oh no! my mom is only gonna be here for 2 weeks and they only induce after 10 days overdue so she might miss the birth!'

Fortunately, doc put my mind at ease and said that he would book me in for an induction the thursday morning in the event that I didn't go into labour naturally before then. So D-day came and went as did Tuesday and finally Wednesday last chance for au-naturalle. Of course by now every morning when I crawled out of my cave after a very uncomfortable night of no sleep in an upright position, I would meet with a house full of loved ones and inevitably someone would ask, 'no baby yet?' And everytime I so much as paused in a sentence or went a little quiet my mom would anxiously ask me, 'are you having contractions?'

But wait! Wednesday morning was different after all! I certainly was having contractions at very regular intervals and they were getting stronger as the morning went on. I knew it wasn't rush to hospital this instant kind of contractions, I could still have a decent conversation and you know... breathe (those of you who have gone through natural labour will know what I mean). But nevertheless I was pretty convinced that this was it. So at about 9am Yaasier and I said our goodbyes and received our well wishes, packed the hospital bag in the boot and off we went. The strangest thing, I was having contractions all the way to the hospital (only about 10 mins away) right up to the second they put the monitor on my belly... and then everything just stopped! I was quite annoye lying there actually wishing for the pain because at least it would mean we were in business. But when the nurse came to check there was only 1 stong contraction in the whole hour that we were there. So we were sent home. It was about 10.30am and Yaasier and I decided to go and have breakfast before having home. You'll never believe but we stopped at KFC! I had a most delicious zinger burger for breakfast and then we headed home. Imagine the disappointment when we walked in the door with no baby! Bilaal of course couldn't understand why we didn't bring home the baby. I hadn't explained to him the natural birthing process so he was under the impression we went to the dr to have the baby taken out (I showed him C-sec pics in a magazine).

I don't remember much else about that day, probably because I was a bit distracted? It was about 6pm and we were all downstairs getting ready to have a light supper. I had been feeling the contractions again and they were definately getting strong enough for me to hold onto something while waiting for it to pass. So the loved ones convinced me to go back to hospital. So off we go again and find ourselves at the hospital again at about 8pm, and as I feared the second they put the monitor on the contractions slowed down and weren't very stong at all. Two hours later the nurse told us that as I was due for an induction the next morning and needed to be there at 4am I could stay there to wait it out or I could go home and relax, maybe have a hot bath to spur things along. Since we were only 10mins away i decided I wanted to go home and bath in my own bath with bubbles. The minute I got into the car the contractions were back again, but I decided to go home anyway. Once again we strolled into the house... with no baby. Yaasier ran me a hot bath and the minute i got out the contractions came strong and fast! I got dressed, but when it got to putting on my shoes I couldn't even bend! So back to hospital at about 11.30pm. I think the whole anticipation and false alarms was just so unbearable that when we pulled up to the hospital I just burst into tears. The poor security guard was so concerned. He brought me a wheelchair and quickly pushed me into the maternity ward while Yaasier parked the car. This was it! This was really really it!

And at 1.30am on the 2 July 2009 our precious little girl, weighing in at 3.4kg and 49cm long, was born.

5 Years Already?

'Tis the eve of the 5th year of my boy's life. I can't believe it's been 5 years already! For a long time now I have felt that my baby boy is no longer a baby, but a big boy. I can't help reminiscing about that most memorable day of his birth. It's a story I always enjoy recalling. So in honor of Bilaal's birthday and seeing as it is going to be 'Wordless Wednesday' , tomorrow I am going to post an edited version of a home video I made of the beautiful time of his birth.

Birth Stories

Just after my little girl Sumayah (now 3months old) was born and I was lying in bed till late in the morning after hubby and Bilaal left for work and school, recovering from the night shift, I started watching (rather obsessively) the Zone Reality channel, a programme called Birth Stories. I became addicted to this show, the stories of various women in the US and Canada, in their final trimester and their journeys in the final stretch to the birth. And on more than one occasion I would cry because it was like reliving my own birth every time... minus the pain of course. Thing is both my births were natural with no epidural, and while have delusions about the reality of the pain, those moments when my little boy and my little girl was first placed in my arms, was the most memorable, overwhelming, emotional moments of my life. And I am sure it is the same for most women no matter what type of birth they have.

But even though both my births were natural, they were very different, in fact I would go as far as to say that my first felt more natural than the second. See with my first born I had a midwife and therefore gave birth in the active birth room of the hospital... In my opinion it was like having the best of both worlds, a home-like environment in a hospital setting. The best thing was this total whatever-is-comfortable-for-you attitude the midwife had and the fact that my hubby could sleep over in the birthing room the first night. With my second birth I had a gynae and when i went into hospital the final time (after 3 false alarms) it was all very... medical. I think in a way that was part of the reason I had the false alarms, just as labout was getting under way, I would arrive at the hospital and it would stop. I read an article once in the Living and Loving that the hospital environment has been known to cause women anxiety, which slows labour! I didn't like the fact that I had to just lie there with the monitor thingy and wait. My gynae was wonderful, but isn;t really involved until it's time to push.

Next time I will try to go with a midwife again, but I am not complaining, because I am just grateful I was able to have a natural birth, with no complications and my 2 beautiful children were born healthy, algamdoelillah (praise be to god).