Meet the Parents

Two weeks ago we were blessed with a visit from my parents who live in London. It was just last year that my mom visited us to meet Yusuf a few weeks after his birth. Unfortunately my dad was not able to come, so this year he came to meet not one, but two new grandchildren! The weeks leading up to their visit I could hear the excitement in their voices. Thanks to facebook, whatsapp and my blog, they have been kept in the loop with detailed updates of their grandchildren's development and stories of their daily antics. Still, Skype video and beautiful pictures can never match being physically present in the company of those you love.

Their trip here was not without drama though. They were scheduled to arrive at 7am on a saturday morning. My phone rang at about 2am that saturday and I recall looking at my phone through sleep encrusted eyes, thinking I was dreaming at the sight of 'UK;dad' on the screen. I was not dreaming! My dad was calling to inform me that theybhad just landed back at Heathrow! Their plane had to turn back almost halfway on the flight path due to problems with one of the engines! All the ypassengers were put up in a hotel until an alternate flight could be arranged, but my parents had no overnight luggage as their carry-ons were stuffed with gifts! Needless to say, by the time they arrived in Johannesburg on Sunday morning, they were exhausted and craved the simple pleasure of a hot shower. But this of course was overruled by the sheer excitement of reuniting with their grandkids and meeting new ones. It was actually quite funny to see their reaction as we approached them at the airport. They were both beaming from ear to ear, my mom even tearing up a little, but they were also completely muddled because they didn't know which child to hug first. At one point my mom even had Yusuf on one arm and Uthmaan on the other. In the months leading up to their visit my dad kept saying that he hoped Yusuf would like him. By thenend of their visit one short week later, the two were best buddies. My sister also visited from Cape Town for a few days so us gals had a good old mom and daughter catchup. It was a really a beautiful, funfilled week with my folks, and the best part about having them visit us in Johannesburg is that we had them all to ourselves. The following week they visited the rest of their families in Cape Town where they had a super busy, jam-packed itinerary. My one aunt fondly jokes with me that I should have a child every year so that my parents will visit South Africa!

Birth Order

A friend and fellow parent and Bilaal's school sent this to me. It is funny because it is so very true. Although reading it I think I may have skipped 2nd child behaviour in most cases and just went straight to acting like a 3rd time mum! Enjoy :)

BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN

Pregnancy:

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your doctor confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

Preparing for the Birth:

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time breathing didn't do a thing.

3rd baby : You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.

The Layette :

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

Worries:

1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.


Dummy:

1st baby: If the dummy falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.

2nd baby: When the dummy falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

Nappies:

1st baby: You change your baby's nappy every hour, whether they need it or not.

2nd baby: You change their nappy every two to three hours, if needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their nappy before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

Activities:

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

Going Out:

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached...

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.


At Home:

1st baby : You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
Swallowing Coins:

1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.

2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.

3rd child: When third child swallows a coin, you deduct it from his pocket money.


GRANDCHILDREN: God's reward for allowing your children to live!

I think they left a very important category out... the NAPPY BAG!

So here's my contribution:

1st child: you buy the best nappy bag you can afford and you make sure it is always stocked with everything you might possibly need in the event you get stranded on a remote island (even if you are just going to the shop for a loaf of bread)

2nd child: you downgrade to a more 'sensible' normal-looking bag that is at least big enough to carry a change of clothes and food

3rd child: you use your handbag that you sometimes remember to stuff a nappy and some wetwipes into and you don't bother with food, you can give a biscuit or buy some hot chips and an oros somewhere if the kid gets hungry.

Things that impress

At every stage of life there are things you have in common with people in a similar stage that are foreign to those who aren't. Like when you have a long term boyfriend/partner/spouse and you bore your single friends to death with your rants and raves about partnerdom. Or when you are pregnant and you lose all ability to converse on any other topic and suddenly it becomes okay to discuss perineum exercises and the state of your cervix in front of all and sundry.

So naturally when you have children you tend to speak about them to anyone who will listen (even if we don't realize it). But what never ceases to amaze me is the type of things we in the world of parenthood find amazing and wonderful and wonder why others look at us strangely with a sarcastic 'o-k, that's gr-e-a-t!' expression. For example the first time baby rolls over or lifts its head. Or the first time baby can burp on its own or makes his first single syllable gurgle. And how happy we are that baby's poo is the right colour, quantity, smell and consistency! Then they start growing into their little-personness and then we really can't help bragging about the fact that they can say 'ta' or 'dada' or have 4 teeth!

But I guess babies being cute and all, some non-parents often do share in the cuteness of these little milestones. I find I now have a growing child and the things that I am proud of can seem very insignificant to the non-parent. For example Bilaal has recently mastered the art of tying his own shoe laces. It didn't take long and I remember how he came running to me so excited and said, 'look mommy I tied my own laces' and I was bursting with pride. Or how impressed I am when he can write simple words. I can only imagine the state I will be in the first time he dons his grade 1 uniform!

Paranoid parent part2

On the road today I saw many children walking  home from school, some of them as young as 6 years old. And it got me wondering again about my ever increasing worry about the safety and security of my children. At first I watched these children walking on busy roadsides by themselves and thinking how can their parents feel secure to let them roam the streets on their own. then I remembered... hang on... when I was in "Sub A" I walked home with a girl in my class and it wasn't a short walk by any means, especially not for little legs. so has the world changed that much or is this just a case of priviledged living. See admittedly, driving in Fordsburg, these children were clearly not from the type of families where mummy or daddy and certainly no nanny is gonna be able to pick them up by car or by foot or by any other means. Growing up we felt secure in the area I lived and went to school, certainly not a poverty-stricken area, but definately not the priviledged lifestyle my children are growing up in. You know the one, where I can afford to stay home with my kids and drive them to school, etc...

Then I was watching Oprah and Madelaine Mcann's parents were on the show, and I was reminded... that's why I am so "paranoid" about my children's safety. The amount of children abducted has increased immenselyover the years and it scares me to death that I should have to experience such an ordeal. My heart really goes out to any parents that have ever lost a child in any way. And you know what, loving my children this much, makes me appreciate my own parents more to the same degree.

Global Village

When Bilaal was born, my parents were in the UK and my in-laws were in New Zealand. They all came to Cape Town for the birth, but had to leave only a few days after he was born. To see your mother holding your first born and crying bitterly because she is going to fly miles away the next day is heartbreaking. Four years later and it was history repeating itself. Although my in-laws are now in Cape Town, we are now living in Jozi, so when Sumayah was born they came for the birth and almost missed it! I was a week overdue and they were all due to return to work. Unfortunately this time only my mom was able to come from UK. Everytime i speak to my dad on the phone I feel really sad that he hasn't had the opportunity to meet her. They call the world the a global village because of the way generations have spread across the globe and communication has become so accessible across great distances. But when significant life events occur, no means of communication be it skype or video calling, nothing beats the human touch. The ability to hold and hug the people you care about...