Wordless wednesday 73

Wordless wednesday 72

Wordless Wednesday 71

You know you're a parent when...

In my blogging absence I often found myself lamenting via Facebook status updates about parenthood, using the phrase "you know you're a parent when..." as an opening line. It turns out Facebook has redesigned themselves giving you the nifty little tool to check your activity history. You can specify if you want to review only posts from you or on your timeline, photos, videos, comments you've made on any other wall, etc.  So I decided to see how far back these "you know you're a parent when..." posts go and was quite surprised to see the  first one was in March already. Since I am trying to resurrect my blog I thought it would be fitting to post a list of these on my blog and welcome any further additions to the list, so here goes:

You know you're a parent when...

• After 3 days without water, when it comes back on the first thing you think of is to bath the kids and put on a load of washing
• Your Google search history has phrases like 'frequency of poo' , 'stinky farts' and 'is it normal'...
• Just getting everyone ready and into the car to go out is an outing on its own!
• The CD playing in your car includes smash hits like 'hokey pokey' and 'the wheels on the bus'
• You find yourself cutting your own sandwich into 8 triangles out of habit
• You find yourself quoting lines and phrases from Cartoon Network and Cbeebies characters
• You can't use your front door because your foyer is used as a storage area for toys
• You have a conversation on the phone and mid sentence you start shouting and scolding and then just continue the conversation as though nothing happened!
• You develop stalker tendencies, like staring at little kids while they sleep or wanting to know what they are doing and where they are every second of the day
• Cleaning someone's face with your spit often seems like a good idea
• You think getting up at 8 am is sleeping in
• You look at yourself in the mirror and see dried baby cereal stuck to your forehead
• You find yourself having arguments about fashion first thing in the morning...with a 3 year old
• You refer to ears as ornaments
• You feel as proud of yourself as the person who just climbed Everest...because you got all the kids to bed before 9 without a fight
• You think something is wrong when the house is quiet
• The parties you attend serve candy floss, smarties, jumping castles and flings

Please feel free to add to the list :)

Wordless Wednesday 70

Rekindling the relationship with my blog

Dear Blog,

Remember me? I seem to have given you the cold shoulder over recent months, I do apologize for my absence. But as it turns out, 3 kids is no walk in the park. I also returned to work in August, and while I work part time, it requires precision juggling techniques, because I still have to play the stay-at-home mom role as if I had been at home full time. I am not complaining though, because I love that I have the flexibility to have an occupation  and still be there for the kids, and I am also super lucky to have a domestic helper everyday who is amazing with little Yusuf. Needless to say though, the blogging ball has been dropped. But I have missed you dear blog. I have missed sharing my reflections on the mum drum of parenting kids with such amazingly different personalities. So I have made a resolution to rekindle my relationship with you, my blog, and will endeavor to cherish the value you have to me since we first started this journey together 3 years ago.

Thank you for understanding, I look forward to meeting with you again soon.

Lotsa Love,

Tasneem

Wordless wednesday 69

First school oral

I logged in today with the intention of giving a follow up report on Yusuf, but decided instead that this post about Bilaal and his first school oral is long overdue. A few weeks back, Bilaal came home with a homework task of preparing a 2 minute oral called 'My Family'. Bilaal is very confident about speaking in front of the class, in fact in his first week of grade 1 he actually asked the teacher's permission to stand up in front of the class to tell jokes! Never mind that the jokes were not very funny (no hopes of him being the next Joey Rasdien I'm afraid!), but he did it and it was no big deal. I thought maybe he would be a little bit nervous seeing that this was an official school assessment...but he wasn't...not in the least!

So I asked him to think about what he wanted to say about his family, I would write it down for him and then he could sit with the paper and memorize it. This is what he came up with:

My Family

My daddy's name is Yaasier, he is very handsome.
I like to give him hugs and kisses.
I like to play cricket with him.
My mommy's name is Tasneem
She is very pretty.
She takes good care of us.
My sister's name is Sumayah.
She is 2 years old
My baby brother's name is Yusuf.
He is 2 months old.
I love my family very much.

Sweet and short :)

Baby Yusuf goes to hospital

Last week was an exhausting and traumatic week for the Abrahams family, particularly for baby Yusuf. About 2 weeks ago he developed a cold, nothing serious, just a bit of nasal congestion. He was still feeding and sleeping well, and he was still he's usual pleasant, contented self. I did the whole saline and aspitator drill which seemed to help at first, but as the week progressed the congestion became post nasal drip which led to coughing and occasional restlessness. In the the meantime Yaasier, Bilaal and Sumayah were all finishing courses of antibiotics for sinus colds and ear infections. Towards the end of the week Yusuf was coughing quite a bit more and was starting to be a bit crabby during the day. So I phoned the paediatrician to find out if i should bring him in for a consult and after describing his symptoms and answering some questions, the doctor prescribed Betnesol drops and said that if the coughing became more frequent or he didn't improve over the weekend I should bring him in, and when weekend swung around that's exactly what happened! He suddenly wasn't sleeping well day or night, he wanted to be held all the time and if he wasn't sleeping or feeding he was crying or coughing! But what concerned me most was the constant chest wheeze. So off to the doctor we go on monday afternoon, the first available appointment, thinking he'll probably be precribed a nebulizer and maybe antibiotics.

But after examination, Dr Li says something no mum wants to hear, he says, "mom, he's not well hey. He has an ear infection that's why he's been crying all the time, he's in alot of pain. But what worries me is that he has bronchiolitis as well so he's struggling to breathe and because he's still so young I'd like to admit him to the ward now then he'll be discharged by Wednesday". To hear that my 2 month young baby angel has to be admitted to hospital came as such a shock I felt like I was going to burst into tears! But I managed to just barely fight back the tears while trying to listen to the doctor. I started to feel a little better when he said that if I really want to, I can treat at home, but the reason he recommends hospitalisation is because Yusuf is so young so he would prefer if the infection is treated aggressively so that he can recover more quickly rather than putting his immune system under anymore strain and risking further complications. He explained that in hospital they can give him pure oxygen and administer the antibiotics intravenously.

Skip a few hours of admission procedures and making arrangements for the other 2 kids, and we find ourselves in the paediatric ward with Yusuf being whisked away to have a drip put in. While answering the ward's admission questions I could hear Yusuf screaming his head off and it broke my heart! And then they bring him back to me with pipes coming out of his nose and arm and my heart breaks even more! I know it's silly, but I felt so guilty, like I failed him as a mother by letting him get sick. The days to follow were exhausting to say the least, but I have an incredible husband who has an amazing bond with our little monkeys. So while living in jozi far from family support made this time extra challenging, we just got on with it and survived.

Well I'm happy to report that Yusuf was discharged on Wednesday and has been improving everyday. He's still quite crabby, but there have been glimpses of his usual smiley self more and more often everyday. And as frustrating it is sometimes, he's gorgeous smile with those fat kissable cheeks an the way he stares at me as though he is completely lovestruck...that is what makes everything worthwhile!

Movie Clip Monday 17

Already running away with boys!

I do feel quite ashamed I have been so negligent in blogging about little Yusuf, or as hubby likes to refer to him - fat Bilaal. It seems it gets worse with each kid. Bilaal has home movies and albums dedicated to his growth and development. Sumayah may not have any photographs, or a single home movie, but she certainly has been the star of many a blog post. Yusuf? Well all he has to show for his absolute adorable cuteness are blackberry profile picture updates and the occasional facebook upload. And yet here I am again, after neglecting my blog for so long, who, but who is once again the star of the show? Yep, you guessed it...none other than the diva herself - Sumayah! This little fireball gave me a near heart attack yesterday.

You see, we have new neighbours. At long last there are children Bilaal's age living in the complex! So yesterday the 3 boys aged 10, 8, and 6 came over to play. Sumayah was not impressed by the exclusion she experienced. She kept coming downstairs mumbling about how she doesn't want to play with them because they don't want her to play etc. Needless to say Bilaal was thoroughly enjoying himself.So at about 5.30pm I told them to start winding up their game because Bilaal needed to get in the shower and it would be dark soon. I go back downstairs to turn off the oven and get the house keys so that I can start locking up. One by one the boys leave, greeting as they go. I go outside a few minutes later to lock the garden gate and then proceed into the house to lock the door and close all the windows and curtains. By now the sun has set so it is quite dark outside all of a sudden. While closing the last curtain, I call upstairs to Sumayah that I am coming to bath her now. I get no response. I go upstairs calling her and calling her and it starts to dawn on me that she is no upstairs! Bilaal is in the shower already and he has no idea where she is. I start to panic when I don't find her anywhere in the house and realise that she might have followed the boys next door, and here I have already locked up the house with no way for her to get back in. So I scurry for the house keys, with Yusuf dangling over my shoulder as I try to get past what seemed like endless security barriers to look my 2 year old daughter outside in the dark! I go next door (Yusuf) still bobbing his head around over my shoulder and the helper says she didn't see Sumayah come in with the boys. Now my heart is really pumping, where the hell can she be???!!! So I run back to my house to put Yusuf in his cot and run back outside shouting Sumayah's name in a rather panicky fashion. I start walking up to the top of the complex grounds because I remember her asking me earlier to go visit her friend Seth who lives a few houses up, all the while I'm calling and calling. And then who do I see running down the slopey concrete grounds in the dark with 3 boys following suit? Why Sumayah of course! All laughing and carefree running around in the dark with the neighbourhood boys! Needless to say I was furious! My heart was beating faster than a formula one race car and I was on the verge of tears. After venting to my friends on blackberry I started to calm down, but I was still very mad at Sumayah, although I suspect most of what I felt was guilt. After her scolding Sumayah of course cried just a little, but then continued as though nothing major just happened. She was singing and talking to herself in the bath as usual.

I on the other hand was driving myself bonkers with all the what-if scenarios, beating myself up with complete and utter guilt that I didn't have my eyes glued to her every second and how could I have let this happen? By the time hubby came home I was feeling much more calm, but still very guilty. But he cracked me up in the way only he knows how by saying very seriously, "so our 2 year old is already running away with boys?!"

Oh boy oh boy do I NOT look forward to the teenage years!

wordless wednesday 68

wordless wednesday 67

Wordless Wednesday 66



And Yusuf was born!

Its been three weeks since my last post and as promised this one will be dedicated to the birth story óf little Yusuf Abrahams. As I write this post I am lying with him snugly curled up aginst my chest sleeping like a little angel. I can't believe he is 3 weeks already and that I am actually a mother of 3! The funny thing about pregnancy and birth is that no matter how gatvol (to my foreign readers that means fed up) you are of being pregnant, no matter how ready you are to pop, when the day arrives and your impending delivery is in sight, you feel so unprepared and nervous and excited and a whole bunch of other feelings all rolled into one huge heap of emotion. When I think back and reflect on any of my births I remember the finer details of the day very clearly, but the memory of the experience is still so surreal. Its like I was present in the moment, but not fully aware of the whirlwind that I was part of.

Interestingly my birth experience with Yusuf was very similar to Bilaals, because the progression of my labour was almost identicle! It started out a normal day getting up at 6 to wake Bilaal for school and prepare his breakfast and lunch. Just before Yaasier and Bilaal left at about 7 I started feeling discomfort that cameand went very quickly. With weeks od prelabour niggles I didn't immediately have the light come on that this was a contraction, but then it happened again, and again, and again. It wasn't painful just uncomfortable, but increasingly so, so at this point I remembered that the same thing happened when I went into labour with Bilaal. I also woke at 7am with similar discomfort. Yaasier and Bilaal had left already and Sumayah was still asleep so I decided to lie on the bed and time what I now suspected were mild contractions. in the mean time I was furiously googling signs and symptoms of labour (one would think I would know all this 3rd time round!) and was messaging my good friend about what was happening. Yaasier was an hour away on a conference and I wasn't sure if I should call him all the way back in the even it was a falso alarm. I struggled to time them at first because I kept being interrupted or forgetting to press the stopwatch and start it again etc. Then Sumayah also woke up and I had to get her ready for school. By this time I think I pretty much knew instinctively that this was the real deal, but I remembered how Sumayah sent us back and forth to the hsopital 3 time before the show began so I wanted to be absolutely certain. So with contractions still going at very regular intervals and starting to get more and more uncomfortable heading toward the pain end of the spectrum, I got Sumayah ready for school and dropped her off. Fortunately her school is literally down the road so I only had 2 maybe 3 contractions there and back. But that's how mild they were, I could still comfortably drive, talk to the teacher, and hug and kiss my girl. But as soon as I got home I lay on the bed and focussed solely on timing these darn buggers that were now steadily increasing in intensity. I called Yaasier and let him know what was happening, at this point it was clear that these were contractions and they were not tapering off. They were about 10 minutes apart and each one lasted about a minute. I phoned the doctor who said I should come into the maternity ward to be monitored. So Yaasier made his way back home. I was convinced I would be monitored at hospital and then they would send me home to come back later in the day. But alas that was not to be. When Yaasier arrived he first had to collect Sumayah from school before we could go to hospital, which fortunately is also only 5 minutes away. While there the nurse informed us that I was already 4 cm dilated! Yaasier then had to rush off to fetch Bilaal at school and drop him at home. It seemed like ages that he was gone. I don't think he realised how much of a rock of support he is to me during times like these. By this time the pain from each contraction was really intense, so I distracted myself with facebook and Blackberry messages. So amny of my family and friends knoew I was in labour as it was happening! While waiting for Yaasier the nurse informed me that as soon as he arrived they would break my waters to speed things up because my labour was progressing quite quickly as it was so she was sure our littel angel would make an appearance soon. Yaasier was quite taken aback to hear this when he arrived. The nurses were busy with another birth and while we waited Yaasier distracted me with his funny remarkss while I rocked on a gym ball through each pain.

Finally the final hours hour arrived. I was wheeled into the delivery room and was found to be 8cm dilated already. The breaks between contractions were starting to dwindle till eventually it felt like just one continous contraction. Then the nurse announced that it was almost time to push and that she would break my waters. It is the strangest feeling, that urge to push. It's like you have no control over the feeling and yet you are also in total control of whether you push or not. The doctor hadn't arrived yet and the nurses said that if I felt I neede to push that I should just go ahead. Just after the doctor arrived, 3 pushes, a lot of screaming and some bone crunching of Yaasier's hand later, and our beautiful 3.16kg baby boy was born at 15h40 on Wednesday 7 March.

And now here I am a proud mother of 3, enjoying my babymoon with Yusuf.

Welcome to the World!

How remarkable that in my last post on Tuesday I described my contentment at trusting that our new little bundle of joy would arrive in good time...and then the very next day...

Welcome to the world, our son, baby Yusuf Abrahams, born Wednesday 7 March 2012 at 3.40pm.

I will be posting the birth story real soon, but for now I am going to be getting some rest and bonding time, enjoying the calm of the newborn period before the storm of everyday life with 3! kids begins.

It has been written...

As you may know, I have been impatiently awaiting the arrival of the new Abrahams baby. Partly due to excitement, partly due to the sheer discomfort of waddling around like a whale in the kalahari in this Jozi heat... not to mention the prelabour aches and pains I've been having on and off for 2 weeks already. But yesterday something changed... perhaps it was the calm that entering the final week till due date brings or perhaps it really is the clarity of thought I have been needing all along. While lying awake in the darkness with my good friend preggy insomnia to keep me company the words "It has been written" sprung to mind. I have been driving myself potty googling the signs of labor hoping to catch a glimpse into my future and predict when baby will arrive, reading up all kinds of words of wisdom on how to get things started. But I realised... or rather I always knew, but finally accepted yesterday that no matter what we do, there are certain things that have already been written... the date you will be born being one of them. Some might argue 'but what about those who have elective c-sections?' Well think about it even then, there will always be circumstances around that decision that will limit your choice of date. So if I had to march into my doctors office this morning and demand that I would like this baby out right away and would like a c-section, it's not like he will just drop everything and voila the birthdate is decided upon. I would still need to be assessed and the doctor's schedule, hospital bookings anaethetist and many other factors, will have to come together to come to a date... a date that has already been written. So while lots of walking and some other kinky suggestions usually recommended to naturally induce labor may well bring me closer to the ultimate event... in the end baby will still only be born when he is meant to be born... on the date it has been written.

So in the mean time I shall kick back and relax while I now patiently await the big event. The not knowing when or how is after all what makes it all so exciting! At least that's what I tell myself while I shift my position to find a more comfortable once again, to no avail.

Wordless Wednesday 65 - View from the top

37 Weeks and Counting

I had an antenatal checkup this week, which I was very excited for. I was convinced the doctor would reveal that I have already started dilating and that baby has dropped nicely, because of all the bachache and strong braxton hicks I had been experiencing. But alas, I was quite disappointed to learn that the cervix is still very much closed and quite high up still, but the good news is that baby has defiunately engaged and is in a good position for birth. However, it must be said that all this information still gives no clear indication of how long the wait will be. For an impatient, control freak person like myself this is the worst part of pregnancy... the not knowing when, how or what is going to happen and having to just.... well wait! With Sumayah, at my 38 week checkup I was already 1cm dilated, but she didn't drop till the week of her birth (and she was 4 days overdue!) so as the doctor keeps telling me, be prepared for anything, it could happen today, tomorrow, in 3 weeks! So what does Tasneem do, but drive herself nuts googling every niggle and discomfort for confirmation from other people's birth stories that labor could be imminent. I also keep imagining different scenarios for when it could possibly happen; will it be during the day when the kids are at school and Yaasier is in a meeting or something, will it be in the middle of the night or while out and about at the shops, will my water's break this time - god forbid in public (both previous pregnancies it only broke just before birth)...? I try to imagine what would need to be done in each situation, my way of maintaining some kind of control over the unknown.


It's a strange conundrum to experience, on the one hand not enjoying the twinges of pain and discomfort, on the other hand almost wishing for it to be more regular and stronger as this would signify that the much anticipated event is imminent. As I type up this post I am experiencing alot of backache. The good news is that now that baby has dropped nicely, sleeping has become alot more comfortable. I still struggle to fall asleep and awake to every little noise, but at least I don't need to fight with the pillows for 15 minutes just to find a comfortable position.

So the lady shall remain in waiting and will hopefully find the energy to keep the posts about my progress updated... who knows maybe I'll even manage to squeeze in a post as it happens, because I'm cool like that haha!

The Tagging game

One of my favourite bloggers, Karen at Momagain@40, has tagged me in the tagging game. The rules are simple, I have taken the liberty of cutting and pasting from her blog...

The (bendable) rules:


"You must post these rules.
Each person must post 11 things about herself on his/her blog. (I am skipping this - as she did and you can too)
Answer the questions the “tagger” listed for you in her post, and create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.
You must choose 11 people to tag and link to them in the post.
Go to each blogger’s page and mention that you have tagged him/her."

These are Karen's questions:

Name a pet peeve:
when kids act like spoilt brats


What would you do over?
i would give my parents less grief as a child and teenager now that I know what its like to be a parent myself
 Are you happy now?

very

Why/why not?
i have a gorgeous, loving, supportive hubby, 2 beautiful kids and awaiting the arrival of a third, why wouldn't I be happy?


What book are you reading now?
I haven't read a book in 3 years! Disgusting for a once avid reader, but I have happily replaced this with reading blogs, some of which I will tag here ;)


How do you take a breather?
social networks and blogsWhat is your job title?
occupational therapistWhen is your next holiday?
i am currently on holiday every morning while the kids are at school and i laze around awaiting the new arrival


Which do you prefer: Beach or bush holiday?
definately beach!


How much sleep do you get each night? (Vs. How much sleep does your body need?)
I have always been more of a late nighter, definately not a morning person! So I usually only sleep at midnight. But these days I have that annoying little thing called pregnancy insomnia, coupled with half hourly visits to the loo. so I don't sleep all that much at night.


Do you listen to Talk Radio or Music Radio
Both, but mostly music radio
So I'm supposed to tag 11 other bloggers, and it just so happens that 2 of my friends have just recently started blogging. So I think this is a good opportunity to inspire some posting, but more so to introduce them to the readers of the blogosphere. That is after all the purpose of tagging. So even if they don't take up the challenge, please do pop over and give then a visit.

Zubeida at Married at 18
Nasima at whats on your blogging mind
Zughriyah at Kriel Family
Celeste at The Reluctant Moms Blog
Stacy at There's a Lionheart in our Bathtub
Nicole at Back at the Coal Face
Rock Mom at Lady Ruby Ray
Margot at Jou Ma Se Blerrie Blog

Ok so that's only 8, one of which has already been tagged in Karens post, but I don't actually follow that many blogs. I have my few faves that I started reading when I started blogging and then there are those who have either gone private or have not updated in over a year, so this is my list.

I'm also going to tag Karen again, only because I would love to read her responses to my questions.

My questions are:

When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grow up?
What is your favourite childhood memory?

If you had one glimpse into the future, what would you want to see?

what is your favourite comfort food?

If you could be a superhero, what power would you like to have?

As all my tags are female bloggers... who for you is the ultimate eye candy (sports or entertainment)?

what is your most embarrassing moment/memory?

what is your favourite movie?

are you a late nighter or an early-bird?

what is the most spontaneous thing you have ever done?

what inspired you to start blogging?

I look forward to reading the responses. Thanks Karen!

Lady in Waiting

This week I am 36 weeks pregnant... we think says the doctor. With the last pregnancy the doctor was convinced I would labour early which just made the wait and the anticipation that much longer! This time we are not certain of the due date (since I only found out about the pregnancy well into my second trimester!), so the estimated due date is based mainly on foetal measurements on the scan. So this time doc is being conservative in his guestimation of the date and has assured me that it is highly unlikely I will go into labour before 9 March (estimated due date being 15 March), especially since I have gone a few days past 40 weeks in previous pregnancies. Yet this time it is me who thinks that labour will start sooner rather than later.  For the past few days I have been experiencing the very familiar dull lower back and abdominal pain. I remember this pain very clearly from the last time, but couldn't remember how long before birth it started. So I put my blog archives to good use and found an old post detailing Sumayah's birth story, where I clearly documented that the 'back labour' as they call it started at about 38 weeks, just over 2 weeks before true labour hit me. So this has got me thinking that perhaps I won't last another 4 weeks, that perhaps this time the baby's eviction notice will be served earlier. Of course a large part of preparing for natural birth is psychological and the 'unknown' is one of the most influential players in psychological warfare. Human beings naturally crave a sense of control and not knowing when, how or what is going to happen means it is out of your control. On the other hand we also crave excitement and enjoy positive anticipation. So while expecting the birth to be earlier may be exciting, I may just be setting myself for a much longer wait... and when you watch the kettle boil it takes longer... much longer! For now I will just be the Lady in Waiting...

Big girl pants

I make no claims to be any kind of expert in potty training, but I realised 2nd time round, that successful, stress free potty training really depends on one very important thing...knowing yourself! I hear you saying 'huh? What does that have to do with anything?!' Well in truth it has alot to do with most things on the journey of parenthood. See I am one of those moms who read all the books and articles and websites on various parenting-related matters and there are always opposing views and conflicting ideas about parenting; potty training being one of them.  And what I've come to realise is that none of them are wrong; because all the different methods have both worked and failed. And when you examine each method and the reasons for them either working or failing, you will find the main difference is of course that the subjects, or in this case the parent and child is different. The key really is to have a very clear idea of your own strengths and weaknesses and apply them to the case. So if you are a hyper patient mom, who has the mental and physical endurance to put your child on the toilet every 15 minutes and the emotional patience to deal with accidents then by all means start the potty training process whenever you are ready. On the other hand, if like me you are under no delusions about your tethered and sometimes somewhat non-existent span of patience, and you have an averse reaction to 'accidents' then the key really is to take the lead from your child. I learned from my experience with Bilaal that I did not handle the whole potty training period very well, which had a negative impact on him, so I gave up and put him back on the nappy till one day he just started asking to use the toilet and then I knew he was ready. Of course going to school also plays a huge influence.

So this time with Sumayah I was a little more wise. As someone commented on one of fellow blogger Margot's posts: 'I'm sure it will sort itself out by the time they reach college'. I loved this comment and that's exactly the approach I will be taking. What's the rush? Eventually the kid will use the loo, sleep through the night, etc. If they are developing normally, the best thing we can do as parents is provide as stress free an environment as possible to foster that development. So the approach I took with Sumayah was to gradually introduce the idea of using the toilet, first by putting her on the toilet before bath time and encouraging her to tell me when she wanted to wee. I also always spoke about using the toilet everytime I changed her nappy. I tried using pull-ups for a while, but these proved to make nappy changing more difficult when she made a nr.2 so I abandoned that idea. There were a few toilet successes during this time and she just loved the idea of throwing water on her parts after 'using the toilet'. This went on for about 3 months when she started school. One thing I would definately advise is that potty training should not happen when there are big changes occuring in your child's life. For example, knowing that Sumayah was starting school this year I deliberately delayed official potty training till after I was happy that she was settled in school. I was hoping we could get the potty training well under way before baby nr.3 arrives, but would have been quite happy to delay it till after if I thought she wasn't ready. Changes like these are stressful to kids and will almost sure cause them to regress. Fortunately she was very ready and after a week of being settled in school and loving it, the potty training just occured naturally. I would send her to school in nappies and when I fetched her she wasn't wearing any. The teacher said she was starting to ask to go to the toilet and there were no accidents yet. But I didn't just jump in there and expect full compliance at home too, so I put a nappy back on when we got home, but asked her regularly if she wanted to go, and put her on the toilet everytime she had something to drink. I also told her that at the weekend we would go buy her some special pretty panties and constantly spoke to her about how she was going to wear big girl panties and how exciting it all was. So that's exactly what we did. The saturday we bought her pretty panties and when we got home she was very excited to wear them. I admit I was a bit apprehensive that she wasn't quite ready, but I didn't want to dampen her enthusiasm so off went the nappies. And what do you know, we went 4 straight days wearing panties and no accidents. I even braved the shops with panties on! Later that week there were about 3 accidents, 2 of them disgusting nr.2s, but these were all related to tantrum episodes that were occuring at the time. So far she has been off the nappy during the day time for 2 weeks now and completely asks to go out of her own now. I continued to put the nappy on at night though. As with Bilaal, I will wait to see dry nappies in the morning for at least a continuous week before leaving the nappy off. This week she surprised me by having 3 dry nights and asking to use the toilet when she woke in the morning. So we are well on our way to being a nappy free household... Well at least until baby arrives which could be any time within the next 6 weeks! Watch this space!

Wordless wednesday 64

Wordless wednesday 63

School update

After monday's traumatic school-going events (more traumatic for me than Sumayah) the week seems to have improved day by day. There has been no tears all week, in fact yesterday morning when we walked into the class, Sumayah actually shrieked with excitement at the sight of her classmates and teacher. There's nothing that puts a mum more at ease than knowing that your child loves her school. Last night she even asked me if she can go to school again with her school bag. I'm also loving that they have started potty training with her at school. When I fetch her she is usually not wearing a nappy and had been dry all morning. So this weekend we're going to get her some pretty big girl pants and officially start potty training.

Bilaal is also really enjoying school. He's only complaint is that break is shorter so there isn't alot of time to play. He's day is also alot longer now with extra-murals usually only ending at 2.30, but he's been coping really well with all the changes. He's also been surprisingly diligent with the care of his belongings when they have to change for sport etc, let's hope it lasts! This morning is the interhouse gala. It's a normal school day with the gala in the morning, but parents are welcome to attend if they wish. Last year we attended because it was his very first school sporting event he was participating in so both Yaasier and I were there to suport him. But his year I didn't feel it was neccessary to specially take off work. So this morning he actually asked me if we were coming and was quite disappointed when I said both dad and I have to work. I explained to him that it wasn't a family event otherwise they would make it on a weekend, and that his dad and I would always try our best to be there to support him at important events. I guess I underestimated the importance kids place on having parents share in their experiences. Fortunately I start work quite late and his school is on my route, so I promised him I would be there as long as I could stay, but that I would have to leave at a certain time even if he hadn't swam yet. He understood and accepted this, so now I just hope I at least get to see him swim before I have to dash off to work. Just 3 more weeks for more before I officially start the waiting game for baby to arrive!

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So much for 'No Tears'

In a previous post I was very impressed that Sumayah coped so well with her first 3 days of school. Then it was weekend and my folks visited the monday, so I kept her out of school till the thursday. I'm not sure if this is what caused the change, but suddenly the thursday she put up a huge performance that she didn't want to go to school. According the the teacher she cried for a whole hour after I left! The next day was slightly better, she apparently only cried 5 mins after I left. I put this down to the fact that she wanted to be with the grandparents and was hoping today would be better. Alas it wasn't so! She was very enthusiastic about going to school in the morning saying that she would be a good girl and not cry, all the way up to the classroom door in fact. But the minute we stepped into the classroom and she saw another little boy crying, she started to crumble. She started crying saying she wanted to go home and wrapping herself around my neck. There have been times, especially after weekends when she would cry when I left for work and it never bothered me then, perhaps because I knew she was happy and well taken care of at home with her beloved Abegail. But I guess because the school is new to me too, it makes it really hard to leave her like that and trust that we have made the right choice in sending her to school so young. Bilaal started school at the same age and I recall we also had a tearful start, but that just feels like ages ago. We've been so used to a kid who is always excited to go to school, even sometimes asking if he can go to holiday school, that I need to remind myself that Sumayah's reaction is perfectly normal. I just hope that with the normal day to day routine of life settling in this week that the school drop-off will become better. Of course one hurdle overcome usually marks the start of the next in the world of parenthood...for us that next hurdle is Potty Training!

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Exciting week ahead

This is an an exciting week in the Abrahams household. This morning, my parents and brother from the UK arrive. They've been in Cape Town for the past 2 weeks so it been nice just mentally knowing thay were close by, but today they arrive in Jozi and I am so excited! My dad was here very briefly on business some time mid last year, but the last time I spent any real quality time with them was a year ago, when I attended my sister's wedding in the UK. I'm really going to miss not having her and her hubby here too. But I am just so happy the kids will get to bond and enjoy their grandparents, even if only for a week.

This week is also exciting because Bilaal will be starting Grade 1 on Wednesday. I think the hardest thing about living in such a global village, is that loved ones often miss each other's big moments and milestones. So I am so excited that my parents will be here to experience this huge milestone in Bilaal's life. Sure he's going to have a whole fanfare waving him off to school, but what better way to start such an important day?

The other exciting happening is that I will be going for my 31 week scan and my mommy will be able to go along! I'm so excited for her to see the scan and hear the heartbeat of her little grandson that's on the way. From now on my doctor's visits will be 2 weekly, just a reminder of how soon the time is for our new little bundle to arrive.

Happy 2012 everyone!

No tears

My previous post was all about choosing the right school for my little baby girl. So on wednesday was her 1st day and even though I was happy with the school I chose, you can't help being nervous and having doubts, because after all you are putting your precious little one in the trust of others. When we arrived at the school she darted toward the playground so that I had to run after her to take her to class. When I said my brief goodbyes, promising to fetch her later, she didn't even cry, but she was also a bit distracted by another little girl who was bawling her eyes out. As I was pulling out I saw the teacher running after her as she tried to make a dash for the playground again. When I fetched her the teacher said she cried a little bit when she realised I was gone, but it didn't take much to distract her and that she settled nicely. What surprised me the most was that she was actually lying quietly on the mattress at nap time when I fetched her. Just as everyone reassured me, she would follow the structure when she sees all the other children doing it. Because I had only just decided on this school the day before I wasn't mentally prepared that she would suddenly be going to school the next day so I fetched her before nap time thinking it would be best for her. But now in hindsight I think this was a mistake. Yesterday I fetched just a little bit later than usual and when I arrived most of the other kids were asleep and although Sumayah was lying still on her mattress she had just started tearing up and when she saw me, started crying. The teacher said she though it was because Sumayah was expecting me to come as I did the 2 days before. When chatting to my good friend about it she made a good point that I probably should have fetched her after nap time from the 1st day, because now she will always expect me to fetch her when the other kids sleep, so if I ever do need to fetch her a bit later she may not be able to sleep. For now its not such a big problem because I will be able to fetch her at 12.30, but later in the year as Bilaal starts doing extra murals and theres another baby, I may need to fetch her a bit later. So I have started talking to her about sleeping at school and reassuring her that I will always fetch, but that she should try to sleep while she's waiting and so on. My hope is that once she's settled in at school and with the whole routine that this will sort itself out too. But for now, I'm just happy that she is happy and enjoying herself at school.

Choosing a school for Sumayah

Sumayah started her very first day at nursery school yesterday. The build up to this was very stressful for me, only because last week I was frantically phoning around trying to find a suitable school! She was already enrolled in a school for 2012, the same school Bilaal attended before grade R, but we realised quite late in December that there would be some logistical issues with this school. See Bilaal is at a government school, while the preschool follows private school terms. Also, with Bilaal in grade 1 this year, he has to be at school at 7h30 already, while the preschool only opens at 7h30. Now normally this wouldnt be a problem because I could take her to school at 8h30, but with a baby 'pending', means I would be out of action for bit, so Yaasier would have to drop Bilaal then back up on himself to drop Sumayah then back past Bilaal's school to get to work! And then the most compelling aspect of all...the fees. We would now have 2 sets of fees to pay and the preschool fees were way more than when Bilaal was there in 2010. So as soon as the new year arrived the search was on. Many of the schools were still closed so I couldn't find out if they had space or have a visit till finally I had 3 possibles to visit on monday and tuesday this week. I couldn't sleep sunday or monday night, hoping and praying that I would love at least one of the schools. Its such a huge responsibility I feel choosing the right nursery school, because the kids are so little and can't fully communicate yet if theres a problem. I also feel I want them to have a positive first experience of school. So the monday I went to see the first two schools and liked it alot, but was not instinctively excited about either one. This disappointed me because it wasn't good enough and I didn't like that I was relying on the third school which I would be visiting the next day. With Bilaal's preschool when we were selecting a school for him, when we left there both Yaasier and I just knew it would be the right choice so this is the feeling I was looking for in choosing Sumayah's school. I had a chat with a good friend who went through this ordeal not too long ago with her own child and she reminded me of advice I in fact gave her at the time, which was, that there is no such thing as a perfect school, only one that is right for you and your child. Then tuesday finally arrived and voila! The minute I stepped onto the grounds I just knew. Its hard to explain because its not based on anything tangible, like the appearance of the grounds, although these things only confirmed my instincts as I looked around. Its just a sense you get from the staff and the the way they run the school just fitted in with what makes me feel comfortable. And then finally the school also ticked all the logistical boxes, so of course its not the perfect school, but I felt it was the right one. I especially knew by the fact that I was actually excited to phone hubby and tell him all about it. So we took home all the forms and she was to start the very next day, but that's a story for another post.

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More bathroom antics

There's been a number of my previous posts dedicated to Sumayah's bathroom antics. So young and already bathroom usage is a point of contention. Every chance she gets she's in the bathroom 'washing her hands' or brushing her teeth, resulting in soap or toothpaste all over the basin. Usually the minute I hear silence from Sumayah I know she's up to no good so that I am able to intercept these mischievious acts. But of course there are those occassions when her window of opportunity is just wide enough to cause that extra bit of havoc. Case in point, the other day the disturbing silence from upstairs had me racing up the stairs (as fast as a pregnant woman can in this jozi heat!) to find what resembled a gruesome murder scene in the bathroom. Sumayah had the predetermination to fetch the fold out stool in Bilaal's bedroom cupboard, and carry it to the bathroom to reach the her red shampoo on the window sill and proceeded to 'clean' the toilet, the bath and the floor! She then moved onto the bathroom cabinet where she managed to empty the jar of cream (again!) onto her face and in the basin. In the picture you see red smeared all over the bathroom, well it was also all over her nappy and clothes! After dealing with Sumayah I started cleaning it up and then realised I needed tto take a picture to add to my archives for her embarrassing 21st birthday photo montage. So the bathroom actually looked much worse when I just caught her!

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