And Yusuf was born!

Its been three weeks since my last post and as promised this one will be dedicated to the birth story óf little Yusuf Abrahams. As I write this post I am lying with him snugly curled up aginst my chest sleeping like a little angel. I can't believe he is 3 weeks already and that I am actually a mother of 3! The funny thing about pregnancy and birth is that no matter how gatvol (to my foreign readers that means fed up) you are of being pregnant, no matter how ready you are to pop, when the day arrives and your impending delivery is in sight, you feel so unprepared and nervous and excited and a whole bunch of other feelings all rolled into one huge heap of emotion. When I think back and reflect on any of my births I remember the finer details of the day very clearly, but the memory of the experience is still so surreal. Its like I was present in the moment, but not fully aware of the whirlwind that I was part of.

Interestingly my birth experience with Yusuf was very similar to Bilaals, because the progression of my labour was almost identicle! It started out a normal day getting up at 6 to wake Bilaal for school and prepare his breakfast and lunch. Just before Yaasier and Bilaal left at about 7 I started feeling discomfort that cameand went very quickly. With weeks od prelabour niggles I didn't immediately have the light come on that this was a contraction, but then it happened again, and again, and again. It wasn't painful just uncomfortable, but increasingly so, so at this point I remembered that the same thing happened when I went into labour with Bilaal. I also woke at 7am with similar discomfort. Yaasier and Bilaal had left already and Sumayah was still asleep so I decided to lie on the bed and time what I now suspected were mild contractions. in the mean time I was furiously googling signs and symptoms of labour (one would think I would know all this 3rd time round!) and was messaging my good friend about what was happening. Yaasier was an hour away on a conference and I wasn't sure if I should call him all the way back in the even it was a falso alarm. I struggled to time them at first because I kept being interrupted or forgetting to press the stopwatch and start it again etc. Then Sumayah also woke up and I had to get her ready for school. By this time I think I pretty much knew instinctively that this was the real deal, but I remembered how Sumayah sent us back and forth to the hsopital 3 time before the show began so I wanted to be absolutely certain. So with contractions still going at very regular intervals and starting to get more and more uncomfortable heading toward the pain end of the spectrum, I got Sumayah ready for school and dropped her off. Fortunately her school is literally down the road so I only had 2 maybe 3 contractions there and back. But that's how mild they were, I could still comfortably drive, talk to the teacher, and hug and kiss my girl. But as soon as I got home I lay on the bed and focussed solely on timing these darn buggers that were now steadily increasing in intensity. I called Yaasier and let him know what was happening, at this point it was clear that these were contractions and they were not tapering off. They were about 10 minutes apart and each one lasted about a minute. I phoned the doctor who said I should come into the maternity ward to be monitored. So Yaasier made his way back home. I was convinced I would be monitored at hospital and then they would send me home to come back later in the day. But alas that was not to be. When Yaasier arrived he first had to collect Sumayah from school before we could go to hospital, which fortunately is also only 5 minutes away. While there the nurse informed us that I was already 4 cm dilated! Yaasier then had to rush off to fetch Bilaal at school and drop him at home. It seemed like ages that he was gone. I don't think he realised how much of a rock of support he is to me during times like these. By this time the pain from each contraction was really intense, so I distracted myself with facebook and Blackberry messages. So amny of my family and friends knoew I was in labour as it was happening! While waiting for Yaasier the nurse informed me that as soon as he arrived they would break my waters to speed things up because my labour was progressing quite quickly as it was so she was sure our littel angel would make an appearance soon. Yaasier was quite taken aback to hear this when he arrived. The nurses were busy with another birth and while we waited Yaasier distracted me with his funny remarkss while I rocked on a gym ball through each pain.

Finally the final hours hour arrived. I was wheeled into the delivery room and was found to be 8cm dilated already. The breaks between contractions were starting to dwindle till eventually it felt like just one continous contraction. Then the nurse announced that it was almost time to push and that she would break my waters. It is the strangest feeling, that urge to push. It's like you have no control over the feeling and yet you are also in total control of whether you push or not. The doctor hadn't arrived yet and the nurses said that if I felt I neede to push that I should just go ahead. Just after the doctor arrived, 3 pushes, a lot of screaming and some bone crunching of Yaasier's hand later, and our beautiful 3.16kg baby boy was born at 15h40 on Wednesday 7 March.

And now here I am a proud mother of 3, enjoying my babymoon with Yusuf.

It has been written...

As you may know, I have been impatiently awaiting the arrival of the new Abrahams baby. Partly due to excitement, partly due to the sheer discomfort of waddling around like a whale in the kalahari in this Jozi heat... not to mention the prelabour aches and pains I've been having on and off for 2 weeks already. But yesterday something changed... perhaps it was the calm that entering the final week till due date brings or perhaps it really is the clarity of thought I have been needing all along. While lying awake in the darkness with my good friend preggy insomnia to keep me company the words "It has been written" sprung to mind. I have been driving myself potty googling the signs of labor hoping to catch a glimpse into my future and predict when baby will arrive, reading up all kinds of words of wisdom on how to get things started. But I realised... or rather I always knew, but finally accepted yesterday that no matter what we do, there are certain things that have already been written... the date you will be born being one of them. Some might argue 'but what about those who have elective c-sections?' Well think about it even then, there will always be circumstances around that decision that will limit your choice of date. So if I had to march into my doctors office this morning and demand that I would like this baby out right away and would like a c-section, it's not like he will just drop everything and voila the birthdate is decided upon. I would still need to be assessed and the doctor's schedule, hospital bookings anaethetist and many other factors, will have to come together to come to a date... a date that has already been written. So while lots of walking and some other kinky suggestions usually recommended to naturally induce labor may well bring me closer to the ultimate event... in the end baby will still only be born when he is meant to be born... on the date it has been written.

So in the mean time I shall kick back and relax while I now patiently await the big event. The not knowing when or how is after all what makes it all so exciting! At least that's what I tell myself while I shift my position to find a more comfortable once again, to no avail.

37 Weeks and Counting

I had an antenatal checkup this week, which I was very excited for. I was convinced the doctor would reveal that I have already started dilating and that baby has dropped nicely, because of all the bachache and strong braxton hicks I had been experiencing. But alas, I was quite disappointed to learn that the cervix is still very much closed and quite high up still, but the good news is that baby has defiunately engaged and is in a good position for birth. However, it must be said that all this information still gives no clear indication of how long the wait will be. For an impatient, control freak person like myself this is the worst part of pregnancy... the not knowing when, how or what is going to happen and having to just.... well wait! With Sumayah, at my 38 week checkup I was already 1cm dilated, but she didn't drop till the week of her birth (and she was 4 days overdue!) so as the doctor keeps telling me, be prepared for anything, it could happen today, tomorrow, in 3 weeks! So what does Tasneem do, but drive herself nuts googling every niggle and discomfort for confirmation from other people's birth stories that labor could be imminent. I also keep imagining different scenarios for when it could possibly happen; will it be during the day when the kids are at school and Yaasier is in a meeting or something, will it be in the middle of the night or while out and about at the shops, will my water's break this time - god forbid in public (both previous pregnancies it only broke just before birth)...? I try to imagine what would need to be done in each situation, my way of maintaining some kind of control over the unknown.


It's a strange conundrum to experience, on the one hand not enjoying the twinges of pain and discomfort, on the other hand almost wishing for it to be more regular and stronger as this would signify that the much anticipated event is imminent. As I type up this post I am experiencing alot of backache. The good news is that now that baby has dropped nicely, sleeping has become alot more comfortable. I still struggle to fall asleep and awake to every little noise, but at least I don't need to fight with the pillows for 15 minutes just to find a comfortable position.

So the lady shall remain in waiting and will hopefully find the energy to keep the posts about my progress updated... who knows maybe I'll even manage to squeeze in a post as it happens, because I'm cool like that haha!

A Direct Line?

My previous post 'When prayers are answered' described how Bilaal's prays for a baby had been answered, well it seems he even got his wish as far as the sex is concerned...it's confirmed... It's a Boy! Someone commented that perhaps he has a direct line and now I'm beginning to wonder, guess we should start placing our orders right? Lol. When I went for my scan on monday everything was fine, but the doc is just a bit confused about my due date. Initial measurements and calculations put my due date at 20 March, but the latest scan's measurements suggests 9 March. The doc says that either his earlier calculations were incorrect or this is going to be a big baby! Now here is the typical mumdrum twist to the story... Even when the due date was 20 March, hubby insisted that this baby will be born on 9 March. Why? Well he has this way of spottting patterns in everything and so with Bilaal being born 03/02/05, and Sumayah being born 02/07/11, in his mind it only makes sense that baby number 3 be born on 09/03/12. (for those like me who takes a while to get it, the numbers add up lol!) And what do you know, it now seems quite likely that this might just be the case!

Porridge brain is real

There are many who doubt the existance of pregnancy porridge brain, but no matter what the sceptics may say, to me it is a very real phenomenon. In all 3 pregnancies I have displayed many daft moments from early on already. For me porridge brain is putting the cooking oil in the fridge or the open milk in the cupboard. It is putting 6 spoons of sugar in your tea and putting sugar in the food instead of salt. Porridge brain is the perfect excuse for wearing your top inside out and yes sometimes even back to front. I have sent many a text message to the wrong person entirely and almost blocking my email account insisting on using the same wrong password only to realise on my 3rd attempt that I was entering my ATM pin! Just the other day I was sitting in the car in the garage, kids locked and loaded and all ready to go, frantically searching for my car keys, only to find them sitting on top of the car. And then of course there was the day I opened the garage door, started the car and then closed the garage door BEFORE pulling out! Just as I put the car in gear I realised my error and disaster was avoided. There many other little mishaps and I am not usually the absent-minded type, forgettful yes, but usually quite a good multi-tasker. So call it an excuse if you will, but it's one that works for me. 

When prayers are answered

A couple of weeks ago in the post My sister's an alien! I described how Bilaal had been praying every night for a baby brother. Well just as with Sumayah, Bilaal's prayers have once again been answered! I don't know yet if the 'boy' part was granted, but I am very much pregnant. But the surprise and excitement doesn't end there, oh no, in true mumdrum style there is a little twist in this story of mine. So a few days after the post mentioned above, I started to feel that maybe I was pregnant. I hadn't yet missed a period or experienced any nausea, but I was visiting the toilet very regularly during the night and seemed to be hungry all the time. So I took a home pregnancy test. I even bought one of those fancy digital ones that give you an estimate of how long ago you conceived. Eighty bucks is quite a lot of money to spend just to pee on a stick! But there I was nonetheless staring at the flashing screen while Yaasier patiently waits outside the toilet for the result. And there it was...'pregnant-3+'...which meant pregnant 5 weeks along or more. As surprising and completely unplanned and unexpected as this was, we were undoubtedly ecstatic.

For various reasons that I won't go into detail about here, we couldn't use the classic method of working out how far along we were, so we assumed that it couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 weeks. this is what I told the receptionist when I made an appointment with the gynae, so I had to wait a whole week before I my appointment. So Tuesday 20 September I anxiously waited in the doctor's waiting room, nervous that I would have a scan and there would be no heartbeat. I was hoping and praying that this wouldn't be the case, that I would see the tiny little bean with a tiny little blinking area indicating a healthy hearbeat.

Finally lying on the examination table, the doctor palpates my uterus and has this really serious expression on his face and my heart begins to sink. I think he's going to tell me that there isn't anything there. Instead he says in his heavy Paraguayan accent, 'well! there's definately something there!' And then the moment arrives, I look at the ultrasound screen and nearly fall off the table with shock... because there on the screen is not a bean, nor an alien-like figure with a beating heart, but a clearly defined baby with fingers and toes and limbs moving all over the place! Turns out I was pregnant far longer than I realised... 13 weeks and 6 days to be exact! Yes I know what you are thinking, that after 2 kids one would think that I would know when I am pregnant, but I honestly had no suspicion till that week.

So that explained why my clothes were steadily getting too tight and why I was constantly hungry, and why I was so tired during the Ramadaan. I even fasted for the whole month of August without knowing and I just assumed that this was the reason I was so sleepy in the afternoons! Well the nice thing about finding out so late is that I don't have to wait too long before finding out the sex of the baby. At my next visit I will be 18 weeks already and I am definately showing already. I still keep looking at the scan image now and again to prove to myself that I didn't just dream this all up, but it's still strange to think that in only 6 months time we will be welcoming a new member to our family, Inshaallah.

My sister's an alien!

Bilaal is convinced that his sister is an alien! Before we found out we were pregnant with her, Bilaal had been earnestly asking for a baby sister every night in his prayers. But one night he said to his dad, 'when I asked Allah for a sister I didn't think she was gna be like THIS!'. He has since concocted this very creative conspiracy theory that Sumayah is in fact not the real baby. Down the road from where we live is the hospital where she was born. And on the opposite side of the road is one of those old, huge concrete water tanks with the dome roof. According to Bilaal this is in fact a space ship that crashed on that piece of land and is now stuck in the ground. Apparently an alien from the spaceship then took the place of our real baby (I don't know what supposedly happened to our real baby). This, in Bilaal's mind is the only explaination for her being the way she is!

So the other day Bilaal comes to me and asks me if I would mind a boy baby. 'Uh, huh? What do you mean?' was my initial response. So he says to me, 'I mean do you mind having a boy baby, can I ask Allah for a baby boy, 'cos Sumayah is just too strange...'. I was very amused and simply replied, 'my boy what you ask Allah is between you and Allah. It is up to Allah to decide to grant you your duahs (prayers)'.

About three days later and I find him sulking and sighing. When I asked him what the problem was he asks me, 'why's it taking so long? I've been asking Allah every night and every day and still nothing!'. Now how does one respond to that? So I say to him, 'well what do you expect... A baby to suddenly appear at our door in a basket?'. To which he replies, 'well maybe if one night you feel like a cramp in your stomach then it means there's a baby 'cos I think it will be painful when you get the baby'.

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