Earlier in the year we realised that Bilaal didn't know how to stand up for himself against physical bullies. He has a good mouth on him, but doesn't really know how to react when someone pushes him or smacks him, or in this case when the bigger girl told him to close his eyes and open his mouth and then proceeded to put a stone in his mouth!. Now I'm not one of those over-zealous mothers who will go rushing to school demanding that the girl's parents be informed of their horrible child's atrocities... because I know kids will be kids and really the onus is on us as parents to teach our own children how to handle these instances by themselves. They need to learn how to fight their own battles so hubby and i had a whole discussion with him about any other incidences that may have happened and how he handled them. Weask him about school every night at the supper table so when we asked him how come he never mentioned these things when we asked him about school, it came out that he thought we only wanted to know about good things! Just shows taking real interest in your children is more that just asking them "how was your day" hey?
So anyway we spoke to him about when it is okay to stand up for yourself and how, and when he should consider telling the teacher. (He wasn't so keen at first 'cos he didn't want to be a tattle-tale). I then had a discussion with the teacher to ask her to just coach him in being more assertive and help him identify when it is appropriate to report to the teachers.
So this was much ealrier in the year and we now have a very different child. He knows how to handle bullies, hardly ever needing to "squeal" to the teacher. So the other day he was telling me that one of the boys in his class is very "wild". Apparently this boy likes to punch other children, including him and his favourite friend (the girl he always says is beautiful).
So I asked him what did he do when the boy hit him and he replied, "I hit him back"
And then I asked, "and what did you do when he tried to hit Robbie Rue (nickname for his friend)?"
And my little knight in shining armour replied, "I told him that if he want to hit Robbie Rue then he have to get through me first!"
Great story! Must make you feel very proud!
ReplyDeleteI was very anxious to get to the end of the story and was distressed to find that Bilaal had to Hit back! I remember as a kid i was often told to sit aside because i wore army boots so i was fed up and said i will show u wot an army boot can do and kicked the girl only to find myself at the principles office.I was angry which prompted that reaction, so if figthing is associated with bullying is fighting back another form of bullying too even if its to protect yourself? I know these bullies get away with it if nobody fights back, but i think every teacher need a stategy in place to handle bullying and it must be reinforced regularly not on when a problem arises. I would write a play every year according the age group for the kids to act out displaying how cowardly bullying is and how to contrlol anger and wot to say and do if you dont like something about somebody etc.
ReplyDeletekids need guidance all the time and sometimes home problems make kids act out at school etc. so its also good to be a tuned in teacher who a child learns from all round not just education. That bully esp.has issues to be dealt with that is perhaps too big for him so a supportive approach may perhaps open the window for him without havin to resort to violence.
I have a job which involves very close interaction and have discovered that the people who are always critisizing other staff members work are the ones looking for acknowledgement for their own work which is most time questionable. Others who are confident of what they give or do do not usually bother about anyone else. Justmy experience not a critisizm.