Always be my baby...

My poor boy is really ill. Its been a long time he's been this ill and it breaks my heart. I always try not to show too much worry or fuss too much while at the same time giving extra tlc... a very delicate balance... just because I believe children pick up on their parents' anxieties and that does not send out good vibes for getting better. So anyway the truth of the matter is that as brave a face I put on, I am so worried about my baby. He may be turning 5 in just 2 months time and no longer my baby... but he will ALWAYS be my baby!

But it is so hard having a little Sumayah to care for as well. Like this afternoon I was breastfeeding Sumayah and Bilaal wanted me to hold him but I couldn't cos I had to finish with the feeding first. He started off this morning only vomiting but still acting his normal self and no fever. He couldnt even hold down plain water. So I went to the pharmacy and was told there's a tummy bug going around. I was given Nauzene and told he should be given fluids regularly and no diary. So anyway I gave him the medicine and some water, he vomited again, but worst still he started to develop a fever. So I gave him Panado. By now he started to get lethargic and slept for most of the day. So now the vomiting has stopped, he can hold down fluids but he still has a fever and is very lethargic. Now its night time so i will have to wait till morning to take him to the dr, but I am so worried and feel guilty that I didnt take him to the dr in the first place. Thing is if i had taken him this afternoon we would've sat there waiting and i just wanted to give him something for the nausea and he didn's have a fever. But hindsight is the best foresight and now i feel soo terribly guilty for not just taking him!

Plus not being home and having hubby is not good. It great to have in-laws support here, but now because Sumayah sleeping in the bed with me and Bilaal is in the other room with my sister-in-law, so I feel kinda helpless. I want him here with me where i can watch him and care for him. I probably won't sleep much and check on him every 15 mins.... this is so horrible! I really hope he will be better in the morning. Plus we supposed to fly back to jhb tomorrow nite. What do I do if he's not better by then. Can he fly? Is he contagious? Guess I will have to wait to get to the dr tomorrow and see!