In other news...

Above and beyond the breaking news of our unexpected arrival there has been alot of other significant happenings in the Abrahams household. Aside from adjusting to having a newborn in the house, we've also been sitting with 2 sick older kids at home for almost 2 weeks now.

Bilaal has this chronic problem every winter with post nasal drip which causes bouts of coughing. In previous years we have managed it with frequent trips to the doctor and medication. But this year it seems to have hit him pretty hard. Last tuesday he was sent to the sick room at school because he was coughing too much. He stayed home on wednesday and we had intended to send him to school on thursday, but then we ended up rushing to hospital instead. Friday he developed a fever so he was home again and then just got progressively worse over the weekend, which didn't do any favours for my my first night home with Uthmaan. On top of that Sumayah was also home from the monday already with tonsilitis. To say she was miserable all week would be an understatement! Sumayah is that age now where change is not embraced easily, even good change. But it is also in her nature to be emotionally overwhelmed by changes in her universe. So can you imagine her being sick and miserable with a sick older brother sharing the tlc and further down the week I go away for 2 days only to bring home with me a baby, which follows with grandparents, aunt and uncle and even great grandparent arrivals sleeping in an already recently rearranged, redecorated home...

Needless to say my first weekend home was pretty wild, but we leave that for another post. In the mean time sunday comes around and we have ourselves a very sick Bilaal with an extremely high fever, coughing like a dog, shivering, crying, in pain. Monday rolls round and a trip to the doctor brings home a bag full of medicine. So every morning and every night we spend at least 20 minutes giving him his medication, nebulizing him and just generally trying to help him feel more comfortable. And just when he looks and acts as though he's better, the fever spikes up again! And then there's the all night delirium that ensues in a humurous but annoying way only Bilaal knows how. All night you hear him talking to soneone ranging from lengthy explanations to arguments to complaining or moaning about something he imagined Sumayah to be doing. According to the doctor the antibiotic should start being effective after 4 to 5 doses when the fever should go away. Today, thursday, after a whole week at home Bilaal's fever finally broke. He will be home again tomorrow seeing as there's only one day  of the week left, but I really hope we will have our regular, annoying little 8 year old cheeky, talkative, happy boy back.

Sumayah I am pleased to report went back to school today. It was so cute to see how much her classmates and teachers missed her. They even phoned last week to find out how she was doing. When she stepped into class this morning the whole class immediately started chanting and knocking on the tables 'su-may-ah, su-may-ah...' over and over again. I was worried that after such a long absence and Uthmaans arrival she might cry when I left but she must have felt so special that she immediately went to sit with her friends with the biggest smile on her face.

Needless to say, amid  all the excitement, life... still happens...

A whirlwind birth

My previous doctor, the late dr Emmanualle Bareiro-Duarte used to tease me that the 6th kid would be free. I would just laugh at him especially after Yusuf was born and he kept saying he would see me again soon. Little did I know that I would in fact be contacting his office less than a year later only to discover that he had sadly passed away in his sleep shortly after being diagnosed with cancer. It was just last year that he delivered little Yusuf into this world, almost missing the birth because he was born so quickly. He jokingly told us that next time I would give birth in the parking lot. And guess what...I almost did!

Yaasier and I had a sense that this little man was in a hurry to join our family so we expected he would be born before his due date, but not a whole 2 weeks! My last doctors appointment was on tuesday and I said to her that I didn't think I would last another 2 weeks. But I expected I would at least make it to my next appointment which was scheduled for next tuesday. But just as short and fast as this pregnancy was made known to us, as quickly did little Uthmaan make his appearance...half a pregnancy and half the labour time...

It all started on wednesday night at about midnight when I experienced some really bad lower back pain. But I was still able to sleep and still able to see to Yusuf when he woke for his bottle at 3am. It was only at about 6am that I felt my first contraction. But it was mild enough that I could still tend to Sumayah when she woke up crying and mild enough that I was able to go downstairs to make myself some tea. However the regularity of the contractions made me stop to take note and the intensity started to increase quite quickly. By the time I finished drinking my tea I had timed non stop contractions of 30 seconds duration every 5 minutes. So I went upstairs to tell Yaasier. He was busy getting ready for work so I decided to take a hot shower to see if the contractions would subside. They didn't. They continued to get more intense and started to last longer. So we knew...this was the day. Quickly we had to put arrangements in place for the other kids in the event I was still in labour late afternoon. As it happens both Sumayah and Bilaal were home sick. Fortunately we had Abigail on her way who would be there with the kids when we went to hospital but she could only stay till 4pm. My neighbour kindly made herself available from 4pm onwards despite having 2 young kids of her own. The problem was that the au pair who normally comes from 5pm till 8pm just so happened to have an exam that evening so she wasn't available. But judging by the progression of labour we were expecting baby to be born by 4pm latest...little did we know...baby had other plans!

While waiting for Abigail to arrive I tried to make sure I had everything I needed in my hospital bag, which I was so relieved I packed just the week before. We also phoned all our loved ones from the UK to the Cape to let them know what was happening. But by the time Abigail arrived at 8.30am labour was in full swing. Bilaal was super excited, but Sumayah didn't understand what was happening. I recall bracing myself on the kitchen table in excruciating pain and Sumayah nonchalantly asking me 'mommy, are you going to make me something to drink?' Bilaal got so annoyed with her and reprimanded her 'how can mommy make you something to drink, she's gna have a baby, can't you see she's in pain?!' And then he proceeded to ask me where does the baby come out! While Yaasier was getting my bags upstairs I suddenly started feeling the urge to push so I decided to get in the car so long and recall shouting from the garage 'Yaasier! We need to leave now!' Poor Yaasier was moving as fast as he could all the while I'm telling him 'we need to get to the hospital NOW! But don't drive so fast...slow down...just get to the hospital quick! Aaaah!' Fortunately the hospital is just 5 minutes from our house and as we approached the entrance I said 'I'm not going to be able to walk in!' So Yaasier just left his car in the drop off zone at the hospital entrance to help me in and I just plonked myself into the first wheelchair I saw and shouted at the security guard 'go quickly!' We arrived in the maternity ward at about 9am and as we approached the nurses station I shouted 'I can feel I need to push! Dr Loock!'

There was a huge rush and scramble with a flurry of activity all around me it was all hands on deck! I recall hearing someone say 'lets just first get her bottoms off or this baby's gna be born in her pants...' I had one person pulling off my boot, one pulling off my bottoms, another person trying to put on my hospital gown and a whole bunch of scrambling around to  get me on the bed and prepped for birth. Then I hear the nursing sister say  'ok just move her into delivery now I can see the head!' No kidding! The sensation to push was getting stronger! As they rush me into the delivery room knocking into walls and doorways on the way I remember hearing one of the nurse's phones ringing to the song 'ice ice baby...so now stop, collaborate and listen...' while the nurses are telling me not to push yet and me shouting in pain. And then suddenly...no pain...the calm before the storm...I could see the waters bulging and the next second I felt a really strong contraction coming on. My waters burst and within seconds, at 9.13am baby popped out onto the bed crying his healthy little lungs out just as my doctor ran into the room.

And that is how Uthmaan Abrahams made himself known to the world...tiny, vernix covered perfection. I looked up at dad and knew that we were both instantly in love with our new little man. One of my favourite moments after every birth is watching Yaasier brim with pride and instant love for both baby and me. He's always so filled with admiration for me yet I know that I would not have the strength I have without him by my side. And we will need each other now more than ever now that we are officially parents of 4!

Welcome to the world baby Uthmaan

Baby Uthmaan Abrahams...born 9.13 am on this day 23 May 2013. A whirlwind, movie style delivery...details in my next post!

Ready or not...

It is 23h04 and the sounds of giggling and pitter patter footsteps and rattling beds have finally stopped in the room of the 2 monkeys. I'm lying in the quiet darkness with Yusuf sprawled across my chest, just above my ever lowering bump, wondering how the fudge we are going to be ready for the one thats busy dancing in my belly?!

I saw the doctor twice this week. I won't go into the details, but I needed to see the doc before my scheduled appointment and was placed on something called an NST or non-stress test machine which monitors baby's heartbeat as well as possible contractions. The doc was  initially concerned that there appeared to be a skip in baby's heartbeat but this seemed to resolve after a while. Although doc was happy with everything else, as a precaution she instructed me to come again for the NST the following morning and be prepared for the possibility that she might admit me for further monitoring. Thankfully it didn't come to that, but it certainly had me lamenting the stark reality that there is a baby on it's way...soon! Aside from the fact that finding out so late made this a very short pregnancy, I also never entertained the possibility that I could labor early. Partly because... well thats not how we roll and probably more so because I don't want that to be the case. I just don't feel ready...

Bilaal and Sumayah were both born a day or 2 past due date, while Yusuf was 3 days early. But all 3 pregnancies brought great anticipation and eagerness for birth to happen from the magical 37 week milestone already, fondly known as being 'term'. But this time is so completely different. This time, even though I am excited to meet our little man I feel as though I am not yet ready for him. And yet this time round I feel my body preparing much sooner for the big event. The  reality is, whether we are ready or not, this baby will be born exactly when he is supposed to be born and that unknown, that uncertainty scares me. And it is for that reason that I find myself blogging at this crazy hour instead of trying to get some sleep between Yusuf's bouts of restlessness.

Wordless wednesday 77

Confessions of a sleep deprived mom

Yusuf's back molars are coming out. His gums are hot and swollen and all he wants to eat is porridge or yoghurt or his bottle. Couple all that with the attachment phase suddenly washing over him and you have a pretty sleepless, miserable child who just wants mummy to hold him. This is so out of character for him that despite all his troublesome baby woes you still see flashes of brilliant chirpyness and delight in between the whinging, whining and tantrums. Ah yes the tantrums! How could I forget to mention those. I thought they only reared their ugly head closer to two, but not little Yusuf! He is turning out to be a rather determined, knows-what-he-wants little individual who has discovered the fantastic communicative powers of the tantrum!

But this is not what I have turned to my blog to to confess. There have been a few restless nights this week, but all of them usually ended in a good stretch of sleep after about 1am. But last night was particularly horrible. Last night Yusuf woke unsettled at about 11am and try as I might he was in and out of sleep for the next 4 hours. And when he eventually did doze off sprawled across my ever growing belly where another baby tried to kick him off from the inside, it only lasted about an hour. So there I was up again at 4h30 putting him back to sleep with the threat of the weekly morning alarm looming. It was last night for the first time that I experienced those old familiar feelings I had many a night with Sumayah...this time toward Yusuf. With every time he woke again or stood up in his cot and cried or wriggled next to me in the bed to get to the tissue box or arched his back crying when I tried to hold him across my chest the feelings of frustration, turned irritation, turned anger, turned resentment, turned...yes I'll use that disgusting word no mother ever wants to admit...hate...those feelings metamorphosised in the silent darkness of the night. And as any mother whose experienced this will tell you, the night feels endless and those feelings eventually want to release from its cacoon into a river of tears. All the while your head tells you that you are just tired and your pregnant body is just uncomfortable and stiff from holding a baby inside and outside all night and that these negative emotions you are feeling are probably contributing to your child's sleeplessness...and then morning arrives and a new day begins and with it... a tired, hormonal, pregnant mother...with an enormous amount of guilt!

Guilt for feeling such bad things toward your soft, innocent, cuddly, lovable, little baby who just wanted mummy to make him feel better in the dark ugly night. Guilt for not helping him feel comforted, and guilt for still being irritated with him the next morning. But it's amazing what a cup of sweet, hot tea, a morning snooze and a good shower can do to refresh a tired soul. I made sure I spent some good quality time with Yusuf thus morning, pushing my to do list to one side to just BE with him. I made sure to give him lots of hugs and cuddles and kisses and even had a bit of a nap with him instead of using it as an opportunity to get stuff done. He is still crabby and miserable (as you would be if you had giant sharp teeth pushing through your soft tender gums). But we are friends again, and I think he knows that I love him.

Wordless Wednesday 76

Mild Panic

Its 3am and I find myself wide awake, a plethora of thoughts running amok inside my head. I am 34 weeks this week, which means that in just 4 weeks I will be considered term and then the waiting game begins. With all 3 previous pregnancies I started to get excited, almost impatient for time to scurry along, hoping my baby would make an early appearance. This time is very different. This time I would be quite happy if number 4 would stay snug and cosy just a little past his due date on 10 June.

Up until now all the things we had decided to put in place in preparation for our growing family had fallen into place as planned.  But now one huge, very tangible arrangement remains...the baby's 'place'. Usually by this time in my pregnancies I would have the baby's cot set up and ready for his arrival, the 'layette' would be all packed in its place ready for use and my hospital bag would be packed and ready for action. Not this time...this time there is no visible evidence of a new baby's imminent arrival. And mild panic has started to set in just tonight.

I remember one of the first questions Bilaal asked me when I told him I was pregnant was ''where's the baby gonna sleep?!'' It was funny at the time, but now the reality of that need is drawing closer and its freaking me out that I am not yet prepared. See we decided to get bunk beds and move Bilaal into the bigger room with Sumayah, with Yusuf then moving into the smaller room with spare bed for those cold winter nights when one parent inevitably will need to settle him in the night. The problem is we are having the beds as well as chest of drawers custom made and were hoping to have them all last week already. Well week one of May has come and gone and still no furniture.

Yesterday I started sorting all the toys and storage space in the shed, but the much needed sorting of the clothes and sleeping space is held up by the arrival of our furniture. So here I am starting to have a mild panic about the preparations that still needs to be carried out and a sense of time running out looming over me!

So baby, as much as I am excited to meet you, please stay comfy for as long as you can so that mummy and daddy can get everything perfect for your arrival.