Beautiful Women

I am busy compiling a photobook for Sumayah. I realised that while Bilaal has albums of printed photographs, Sumayah has but the handful we printed for the frames on our walls. And she loves looking at Bilaal's baby albums, sometimes pretending they are her pictures. So I thought I owe it to her to make her her very own baby album at least before yet another baby arrives to compete for some of her much loved attention. So for the past 2 months I've been painstakingly sifting through all the digital copies of photographs taken over the last three and a half years since she was born. Of course with family living far away there are not that many of her with her grandparents, or aunts and uncles. So I asked my sister to send me any photos she had of Sumayah and she sent me the most beautiful pictures from her wedding day just over two years ago. And it got me thinking about the beautiful women in my life and how fortunate I am to have had them be part of my life, helping to shape who I am today. Sumayah often asks me to read Sleeping Beauty as a bedtime story and I think about how the good fairies came to the princess's christening bearing gifts of wisdom, beauty, kindness, etc and how my mom and sister are like my very own good fairies.

We are all three of us so different to each other in so many ways, but also so similar in the ways that really count. Much of that stems from my beautiful mother. Not only is she beautiful on the outside, but is also one of those selfess and truly sincere individuals, whose purity of heart and brightness of soul radiates from her. Anyone who knows my mother even for a short time will describe her as a wonderful, caring person. One of the many valuable lessons I can take from her example is her work ethic. When my mom commits to doing something she gives it 200%. She always goes the extra mile expecting nothing in return. She does everything with passion and enthusiasm and is determined to do the best despitevany challenges she may encounter. She truly is a remarkable human being and I love her like crazy. I can only dream that I will possess even half of the beauty she posses inside. Then there is my younger sister. I have always admired her spunk and individuality. She is also an incredibly creative soul who also perceives the world with passion. Firdous is also one of those people you would be lucky to call a friend...she is cares deeply for her friends, is loyal, and is the is the one you go to when you need a listening ear. One of the things she and my mom share in common which I always admire is that they are very loving and affectionate women. They know how to make people feel special and are always looking for cute, quirky and funny ways to do so. She may be my younger sister who looks up to me, but in truth I have tons to learn from her too.

Wordless Wednesday 75

Meet Yusuf

Although I have blogged about Yusuf before, I don't think I ever truly reflected on the influence he's had on my life, and who this unique little addition to our family really is. Partly due to my long blogging absence, partly due to the fact that, post hospitalisation for bronchiolitis, post needing grommets at 2 months old; Yusuf has been a pretty 'easy' baby. He has always been, and continues to be a cheerful little soul, smiling more than not, sleeping well more than not, always interactive and loving toward everyone. Don't misunderstand...I am not claiming that everything is breezy this time round. He gets sick very often, which any parent knows is very stressful and tiring. But even at his most miserable, he'll always find room for a smile. I'm aware it may just be that in contrast to Sumayah, who woke up 10 days after her birth and just turned our world upside down, raising Yusuf seems less...challenging. And while that spirited, lively nature is what we love about Sumayah, it is a stark, yet refreshing contrast to have such a joyful and contented child.

At this age, glimpses of a child's personality usually starts to emerge and as I get to know this new little man in my life I thought it only fitting to celebrate his existance through my blog. As young as he is, he already knows how to turn on the charm. He has this way of looking at you that makes you want to give him the world! Now that he's walking he is crazy busy,he loves being outdoors, and as much as it makes him behave very mischievously, I absolutely adore his natural curiosity. And with that curiosity comes real determination, a trait I hope I nurture rather than cripple in attempts to keep him out of harms way. It amazes me how, after only one year in this world he is able  to  figure things out just by trying again and again and how quickly he already learns from our actions and behaviours. This also happens to be the age when separation anxiety kicks in and he is definately showing signs of attachment to me. If I had to describe him in just one word?...Joyful! And I love him to bits.

Whatsonyourblogginmind

My dear friend and one of my indispensible support pillars Nasima has started her own blog titled From Nasima, With Love. Nasima just so happens to be one of my first and biggest blog fans when I started this journey almost four years ago. And while I have drifted in and out of the blogosphere, Nasima has steadily relished her private time engaging with the expressions of others. So I am so excited that she has finally taken the plunge and joined our blogommunity of mom bloggers. I dedicate this post to her because I have enjoyed reading her posts so much that it is she who has in fact inspired me to reconnect with my own blog once again.

And in typing up this post it got me thinking about how much I admire the gusto with which she came into this world of public self-disclosure, but also how much I value the support I have from friends like her, both near and far. My blog has always been about my kids and their antics, and the occasional rant about the frustrations I feel within my role as mom. But I don't think I have ever given a truly personal reflection of my own emotional journey as a person and a mom. When Nasima openly introduced herself to the blogosphere declaring her struggles with postnatal depression I had such admiration. Its rather ironic that as a mental health professional myself I advocate for being open about the emotional and mental struggles human beings inevitably face, yet I myself find it incredibly difficult to admit feeling defeated or vulnerable at times. And this is where that network of friends are so invaluable...starting with my best friend...my hubby. I never blog about him because even more so than me he is an intensely private person. So I have never felt it my right to blab about him to the world in this space. But in doing so I have also not shared one of the most crucial facets of myself as an individual and as a parent in this space. Yaasier and I have been on a gloriously eventful adventure together, through the 3 years before we were married and the 11 years since, and now we are about to extend that journey with yet another passenger in tow. And I love him even more as our journey continues...

But of course every gal needs her girlfriends and I am so lucky to have the kind of 'sisters' who are always ready with a sympathetic ear, a non-judgemental ear, and don't expect anything in return. The kind of friends that you don't need to be in contact with everyday to feel you can reach out when a helping hand is needed. And Nasima Joulay happens to be one such friend to me. I can only hope that I reciprocate sufficiently. So whoever you may be who reads my blog, do pop on over to From Nasima, with Love over at www.whatsonyourblogginmind.blogspot.com and enjoy.

From Tasneem, with Love :)

Wordless Wednesday 74

Look who found moms makeup. She was very proud too! She says she looks just like princess Jasmine.

And there there'll be four!

It's a bit ridiculous that the last time I posted a proper post to my blog, Yusuf was just 7 months old and unbeknown to me I was about 5 weeks pregnant. Well I can be forgiven for not knowing then, I can even be forgiven for not knowing at my most recent post, a wordless wednesday, that I was roughly 12 weeks pregnant. But to only have a vague suspicion at 16 weeks...sound familiar?!

With Yusuf I only found out at 13 weeks and remember very clearly the shock I had at my first doctor's visit when I saw a fully formed baby on the scan. But at the time Sumayah was 21/2 years old and Bilaal was already pretty independent so the news of a surprise bun in the oven was not too overwhelming. But this time...

The first question that usually comes to mind is 'how could you not know?!' Well I had no nausea or fatigue and having stopped breastfeeding only two months before finding out, I actually did have a period when I changed contraceptives from the mini pill to something stronger. Of course I was already pregnant at the time, but had no reason to even suspect so. At around 16 weeks I certainly started to sport a little boep, but with the festive season upon us I assumed I was just getting fat! Those close enough to not feel embarrased to ask, did question whether there was indeed something baking, but that was always my standard response, 'no I'm just getting fat'.

Even when we eventually took a pregnancy test and that second blue line appeared within seconds, we still could not believe it. We were on holiday in Cape Town at the time and had to wait a whole two weeks before I could see a doctor for confirmation...confirmation?! Really?! Clearly those flutters I was feeling was NOT nerves!

So it was no surprise to me when the doctor announced at my very first visit  that I was already 19 weeks pregnant, almost halfway...and with another boy! Of course the gift of life is a joyous blessing, but I would be lying to myself is I denied the overwhelming feeling of fear, dread and guilt that came with this gift. The reality that Yusuf will only be one year and three months when the baby is born is scary enough as it is, but that we will also be parents of four...! I have come to realise that the gestational period of nine months is not only for the development of life inside you, it also for the mental and emotional preparation of parents. Finding out so late- as humorous as it may be- didn't do us any favours in preparing for the huge adjustments our little family unit will need to make. But as the time draws near, the preparations start to fall into place and our little man kicks up a storm every night, the excitement steadily grows and I am happy to say I can't wait to meet him!

It feels good to be back on the 'blogwagon' again, thanks to a little nudge and inspiration from a good friend who recently started her own blog over at From Nasima, With love, as well as my reverting back to Android. Mom of 3, soon to be 4, over and out...