Wordless Wednesday 65 - View from the top

37 Weeks and Counting

I had an antenatal checkup this week, which I was very excited for. I was convinced the doctor would reveal that I have already started dilating and that baby has dropped nicely, because of all the bachache and strong braxton hicks I had been experiencing. But alas, I was quite disappointed to learn that the cervix is still very much closed and quite high up still, but the good news is that baby has defiunately engaged and is in a good position for birth. However, it must be said that all this information still gives no clear indication of how long the wait will be. For an impatient, control freak person like myself this is the worst part of pregnancy... the not knowing when, how or what is going to happen and having to just.... well wait! With Sumayah, at my 38 week checkup I was already 1cm dilated, but she didn't drop till the week of her birth (and she was 4 days overdue!) so as the doctor keeps telling me, be prepared for anything, it could happen today, tomorrow, in 3 weeks! So what does Tasneem do, but drive herself nuts googling every niggle and discomfort for confirmation from other people's birth stories that labor could be imminent. I also keep imagining different scenarios for when it could possibly happen; will it be during the day when the kids are at school and Yaasier is in a meeting or something, will it be in the middle of the night or while out and about at the shops, will my water's break this time - god forbid in public (both previous pregnancies it only broke just before birth)...? I try to imagine what would need to be done in each situation, my way of maintaining some kind of control over the unknown.


It's a strange conundrum to experience, on the one hand not enjoying the twinges of pain and discomfort, on the other hand almost wishing for it to be more regular and stronger as this would signify that the much anticipated event is imminent. As I type up this post I am experiencing alot of backache. The good news is that now that baby has dropped nicely, sleeping has become alot more comfortable. I still struggle to fall asleep and awake to every little noise, but at least I don't need to fight with the pillows for 15 minutes just to find a comfortable position.

So the lady shall remain in waiting and will hopefully find the energy to keep the posts about my progress updated... who knows maybe I'll even manage to squeeze in a post as it happens, because I'm cool like that haha!

The Tagging game

One of my favourite bloggers, Karen at Momagain@40, has tagged me in the tagging game. The rules are simple, I have taken the liberty of cutting and pasting from her blog...

The (bendable) rules:


"You must post these rules.
Each person must post 11 things about herself on his/her blog. (I am skipping this - as she did and you can too)
Answer the questions the “tagger” listed for you in her post, and create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.
You must choose 11 people to tag and link to them in the post.
Go to each blogger’s page and mention that you have tagged him/her."

These are Karen's questions:

Name a pet peeve:
when kids act like spoilt brats


What would you do over?
i would give my parents less grief as a child and teenager now that I know what its like to be a parent myself
 Are you happy now?

very

Why/why not?
i have a gorgeous, loving, supportive hubby, 2 beautiful kids and awaiting the arrival of a third, why wouldn't I be happy?


What book are you reading now?
I haven't read a book in 3 years! Disgusting for a once avid reader, but I have happily replaced this with reading blogs, some of which I will tag here ;)


How do you take a breather?
social networks and blogsWhat is your job title?
occupational therapistWhen is your next holiday?
i am currently on holiday every morning while the kids are at school and i laze around awaiting the new arrival


Which do you prefer: Beach or bush holiday?
definately beach!


How much sleep do you get each night? (Vs. How much sleep does your body need?)
I have always been more of a late nighter, definately not a morning person! So I usually only sleep at midnight. But these days I have that annoying little thing called pregnancy insomnia, coupled with half hourly visits to the loo. so I don't sleep all that much at night.


Do you listen to Talk Radio or Music Radio
Both, but mostly music radio
So I'm supposed to tag 11 other bloggers, and it just so happens that 2 of my friends have just recently started blogging. So I think this is a good opportunity to inspire some posting, but more so to introduce them to the readers of the blogosphere. That is after all the purpose of tagging. So even if they don't take up the challenge, please do pop over and give then a visit.

Zubeida at Married at 18
Nasima at whats on your blogging mind
Zughriyah at Kriel Family
Celeste at The Reluctant Moms Blog
Stacy at There's a Lionheart in our Bathtub
Nicole at Back at the Coal Face
Rock Mom at Lady Ruby Ray
Margot at Jou Ma Se Blerrie Blog

Ok so that's only 8, one of which has already been tagged in Karens post, but I don't actually follow that many blogs. I have my few faves that I started reading when I started blogging and then there are those who have either gone private or have not updated in over a year, so this is my list.

I'm also going to tag Karen again, only because I would love to read her responses to my questions.

My questions are:

When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grow up?
What is your favourite childhood memory?

If you had one glimpse into the future, what would you want to see?

what is your favourite comfort food?

If you could be a superhero, what power would you like to have?

As all my tags are female bloggers... who for you is the ultimate eye candy (sports or entertainment)?

what is your most embarrassing moment/memory?

what is your favourite movie?

are you a late nighter or an early-bird?

what is the most spontaneous thing you have ever done?

what inspired you to start blogging?

I look forward to reading the responses. Thanks Karen!

Lady in Waiting

This week I am 36 weeks pregnant... we think says the doctor. With the last pregnancy the doctor was convinced I would labour early which just made the wait and the anticipation that much longer! This time we are not certain of the due date (since I only found out about the pregnancy well into my second trimester!), so the estimated due date is based mainly on foetal measurements on the scan. So this time doc is being conservative in his guestimation of the date and has assured me that it is highly unlikely I will go into labour before 9 March (estimated due date being 15 March), especially since I have gone a few days past 40 weeks in previous pregnancies. Yet this time it is me who thinks that labour will start sooner rather than later.  For the past few days I have been experiencing the very familiar dull lower back and abdominal pain. I remember this pain very clearly from the last time, but couldn't remember how long before birth it started. So I put my blog archives to good use and found an old post detailing Sumayah's birth story, where I clearly documented that the 'back labour' as they call it started at about 38 weeks, just over 2 weeks before true labour hit me. So this has got me thinking that perhaps I won't last another 4 weeks, that perhaps this time the baby's eviction notice will be served earlier. Of course a large part of preparing for natural birth is psychological and the 'unknown' is one of the most influential players in psychological warfare. Human beings naturally crave a sense of control and not knowing when, how or what is going to happen means it is out of your control. On the other hand we also crave excitement and enjoy positive anticipation. So while expecting the birth to be earlier may be exciting, I may just be setting myself for a much longer wait... and when you watch the kettle boil it takes longer... much longer! For now I will just be the Lady in Waiting...

Big girl pants

I make no claims to be any kind of expert in potty training, but I realised 2nd time round, that successful, stress free potty training really depends on one very important thing...knowing yourself! I hear you saying 'huh? What does that have to do with anything?!' Well in truth it has alot to do with most things on the journey of parenthood. See I am one of those moms who read all the books and articles and websites on various parenting-related matters and there are always opposing views and conflicting ideas about parenting; potty training being one of them.  And what I've come to realise is that none of them are wrong; because all the different methods have both worked and failed. And when you examine each method and the reasons for them either working or failing, you will find the main difference is of course that the subjects, or in this case the parent and child is different. The key really is to have a very clear idea of your own strengths and weaknesses and apply them to the case. So if you are a hyper patient mom, who has the mental and physical endurance to put your child on the toilet every 15 minutes and the emotional patience to deal with accidents then by all means start the potty training process whenever you are ready. On the other hand, if like me you are under no delusions about your tethered and sometimes somewhat non-existent span of patience, and you have an averse reaction to 'accidents' then the key really is to take the lead from your child. I learned from my experience with Bilaal that I did not handle the whole potty training period very well, which had a negative impact on him, so I gave up and put him back on the nappy till one day he just started asking to use the toilet and then I knew he was ready. Of course going to school also plays a huge influence.

So this time with Sumayah I was a little more wise. As someone commented on one of fellow blogger Margot's posts: 'I'm sure it will sort itself out by the time they reach college'. I loved this comment and that's exactly the approach I will be taking. What's the rush? Eventually the kid will use the loo, sleep through the night, etc. If they are developing normally, the best thing we can do as parents is provide as stress free an environment as possible to foster that development. So the approach I took with Sumayah was to gradually introduce the idea of using the toilet, first by putting her on the toilet before bath time and encouraging her to tell me when she wanted to wee. I also always spoke about using the toilet everytime I changed her nappy. I tried using pull-ups for a while, but these proved to make nappy changing more difficult when she made a nr.2 so I abandoned that idea. There were a few toilet successes during this time and she just loved the idea of throwing water on her parts after 'using the toilet'. This went on for about 3 months when she started school. One thing I would definately advise is that potty training should not happen when there are big changes occuring in your child's life. For example, knowing that Sumayah was starting school this year I deliberately delayed official potty training till after I was happy that she was settled in school. I was hoping we could get the potty training well under way before baby nr.3 arrives, but would have been quite happy to delay it till after if I thought she wasn't ready. Changes like these are stressful to kids and will almost sure cause them to regress. Fortunately she was very ready and after a week of being settled in school and loving it, the potty training just occured naturally. I would send her to school in nappies and when I fetched her she wasn't wearing any. The teacher said she was starting to ask to go to the toilet and there were no accidents yet. But I didn't just jump in there and expect full compliance at home too, so I put a nappy back on when we got home, but asked her regularly if she wanted to go, and put her on the toilet everytime she had something to drink. I also told her that at the weekend we would go buy her some special pretty panties and constantly spoke to her about how she was going to wear big girl panties and how exciting it all was. So that's exactly what we did. The saturday we bought her pretty panties and when we got home she was very excited to wear them. I admit I was a bit apprehensive that she wasn't quite ready, but I didn't want to dampen her enthusiasm so off went the nappies. And what do you know, we went 4 straight days wearing panties and no accidents. I even braved the shops with panties on! Later that week there were about 3 accidents, 2 of them disgusting nr.2s, but these were all related to tantrum episodes that were occuring at the time. So far she has been off the nappy during the day time for 2 weeks now and completely asks to go out of her own now. I continued to put the nappy on at night though. As with Bilaal, I will wait to see dry nappies in the morning for at least a continuous week before leaving the nappy off. This week she surprised me by having 3 dry nights and asking to use the toilet when she woke in the morning. So we are well on our way to being a nappy free household... Well at least until baby arrives which could be any time within the next 6 weeks! Watch this space!

Wordless wednesday 64

Wordless wednesday 63