'Mommy, are you in love?'

This was a question Bilaal asked me a few months back already and since then the topic has come up a few times. On this occasion, while driving home from school, the conversation went something like this:
B: Mommy, are you in love?

Me: Why do you ask? What do think it means to be in love?

B: No mommy, I asked you first.

Me: I know, but I just want to know what you think it means...

B: Mommy! First answer my question.

Me: ok, but then you must answer my question too okay?... Yes I am in love, I'm in love with your daddy... Now answer my question, what do you think it means to be in love?

B: It means when you think about a person all the time, and want to be with them all the time...

Me: Ok (in an impressed tone). So what made you ask me that?

Long pause, followed by giggly, shy body language and the finally,

B: it's a secret, I'm too shy to say...

Me: Don't be shy, just tell me...

B: (in a shy quiet voice) because I think I'm in love...

This time the silence is from me, half amused, half taken aback that this conversation was already happening at age 6!

Me: Oh ok... So who do you think you're in love with?

B: you know!

And I did know and to understand why I need to provide some background. In December last year my sister-in-law got married and Bilaal was pageboy. He took this role very seriously as did the 2 flower girls. He also spent some time with his second cousins and got along famously. If you know Bilaal or have been following this blog, you will know that he inherently is a real gentleman. This makes hime very popular with the girls, and his flower girls were no exception. So I had a suspicion it might be one of them.

Me: is it someone in Cape Town?

B: yes

Me: is it... Nafisa?

B: Yes... But actually... It's 2...

Me: 2?!

B: It's 2 that I'm in love with

Me: you mean Imaan also?

B: yes... Mommy can you love more than 1 person at the same time?

Me: well... First I think you need to know that there's a difference between being in-love and loving someone.

So I go into a whole explanation about the difference as best I can, using the example of how I love him and Sumayah and his grandparents, but that I am in-love with his dad. And then if I thought the conversation wasn't complex enough, he asks me 'so you can't marry more than 1 person at a time?'

Hmmm.. How to answer this question... Considering we are muslim where it is permissable (under very specific circumstances only) and given that our dear president has what 4 wives?

I decided to give him an honest answer, which ended up being a whole discussion about different beliefs and cultures and how the rules and laws that 'allows' us to do certain things like have more than one partner is affected by these.

In the end, I hope, he came away with the message that it is best to try to find that one special you want to have a life with and build a family with... Just like ours ;-)!